


Bloody snow

by annthetropicalfish



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-02
Updated: 2015-08-07
Packaged: 2018-01-17 23:23:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 25,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1406404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annthetropicalfish/pseuds/annthetropicalfish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I'm sure that the amount of lashes for poaching are fewer, you're going to kill her!" Madge yelled.<br/>Canon AU.<br/>Trigger: violence.<br/>For Day 2 from Prompts in Panem.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The blood

**Author's Note:**

> A huge thanks to eatnightlockforbreakfast for her time to fix my mistakes.

A shiver ran down Peeta’s back and made him lift his eyes from the apple drawing he was shading.

He looked outside and huffed at the snow falling slowly. It was pointless to keep the bakery open when the regular customers didn’t even risk stepping outside, but Mother insisted.

He looked at his drawing again and another shiver ran down his spine, this time because the door had been opened.

“Madge!” Peeta greeted his friend with a smile.

“Hey Peeta,” she smiled back shivering a bit, her cheeks and nose red from the cold outside. She took off her woolen hat.

She asked for half a dozen of cinnamon rolls and a small lemon tart.

“So, how’s the lovebird?” she asked with a knowing smile, scratching her temple a bit with her finger, and Peeta frowned.

“What?” he asked confusedly at his friend while he hand her the bag with the goods.

“Oh, well, you know. I might have talked with a friend from school, you know…” she said slowly, her smile stretching her cheeks.

“What? Madge! What are you talking about?” Peeta asked blushing furiously.

Every Friday since they had been out of the reapings, Delly had invited Peeta and Madge over to play cards in the back of the Shoe Shop. Katniss had been invited too, several times, but she always failed to show up.

One of those nights (he might have been under the influence of some fumes for the shoe’s glue or maybe it was because deep inside he knew that Madge could help him) Peeta had confessed to Madge that he was utterly and madly in love with Katniss Everdeen.

Madge took it as a personal task to pair her friends, and it seemed that her words worked because Katniss talked a bit more when they traded and when Peeta would say something about the weather or how accurate her aim was she was more eloquent with her thanks, telling him how her father was a good teacher. She made a joke once about the squirrels and they even walked together to the Main Square on the Harvest Festival’s eve.

But Peeta moved slowly. He felt that Katniss was easy to scare if emotions were at stake.

“Let’s just say that your name was brought to the conversation and she said you were chatty and then she blushed…”

“Why? What did you…?”

“And then she added, amidst her blush, that you were really nice.”

“That’s why you’re calling me lovebird?” he asked with a laugh and Madge nodded.

“Katniss Everdeen doesn’t blush!” she said throwing her hands in the air and Peeta laughed out loud.

“I give you that,” he said with a small smile, leaning on the countertop with his forearms. “But I’m scared that she’ll shy away from me if I say something”

“Well, I could…”

“No no, I would rather talk to her. I even thought about asking her out on a date someday,” he confessed and Madge smiled.

“You might be the only guy able to take someone on a date in this District and make it something good,” Madge said with a small laugh and Peeta shrugged sheepishly.

He was about to tell her what he had in mind when bakery’s door was opened abruptly by Delly. She looked agitated, her work apron still on under her coat. Her cheeks were red and her hair was dusted with snow

“It’s Katniss…they caught her…she’s been whipped!” Delly panted and Peeta felt his insides freeze.

An icy blast of wind hit him in the face, but he didn’t care.

He could feel blood rushing through his ears at the same time fear took over his body, making him nauseous.

People had gathered to watch, but no one was doing anything to stop it. They just stood, their faces in shock.

But still, there was a silence that hurt even more that a thousand screams.

He had seen the whipping post before but he never thought that Katniss would be the first one in a long time to be tied to it. Her jacket and hunting bag were next to her, blood splatters all over them.

Her hands were tied around the thick wooden pole. She looked like she had passed out. Tears gathered in Peeta’s eyes at the sight of her laying on the ground, her hands over her head at a weird angle and her naked back covered in blood, lashes and strips of her shirt and undershirt hanging at her sides.

“Stop it!” Peeta yelled pushing against the passive audience, but a gun aimed at him stopped him.

 

"You stay right there, son,” the peacekeeper said, giving Katniss another whip.

 

Peeta noticed Darius laying on the ground with a small hole on his forehead that dripped blood, forming a small pool next to him. His eyes were still open.

“Delly, go get my dad, bring him no matter what,” Madge said and stood up in front of Peeta. Delly took off quickly.

“Peacekeeper Stone, stop this right now!” she said with all the authority she could muster, but the quiver in her voice was unmistakable.

The peacekeeper smirked at Madge, still pointing the gun at them and whipped Katniss again.

“No I won’t. This girl..” whip ”broke..” whip “the law…” whip “by poaching!” he said, sounding almost giddy. His lips formed a thin line and his helmet hung from his shoulders, his almost white blond hair had a few droplets of blood in it.

“I’m sure that the amount of lashes for poaching are fewer, you’re going to kill her!” Madge yelled.

Peeta took a step forward and lifted his hands. “Please, sir…” he pleaded but his words were cut off by the Mayor’s arrival.

“What is going on?” Mayor Undersee yelled and the peacekeeper stop at once. “Darius?” he asked with a shaky voice full of anger when he saw the redhead laying on the ground, unmoving under the snow falling slowly over him.

“You lower that gun from my daughter or I will have you killed!” he was beside himself. He looked around at the rest of the peacekeepers. “What are you looking at?! He killed one of you own! Purnia and Patna, arrest Peacekeeper Stone!”

Peacekeeper Stone lowered his gun and dropped his whip on the ground. He didn’t fight when his hands were tied behind his back.

“You’re weak Undersee, you run this District like it’s a fair.” Stone said as he spit at the Mayor’s feet.

Peeta and Madge rushed towards Katniss and untied her hands quickly with a sharp knife that Delly gave them.

Peeta noticed Mayor Undersee follow the peacekeepers after one last worried look over his shoulder. Rooba the butcher was over Darius, closing his eyes, saying a quiet words.

They put Katniss’ arms at her sides gently and Peeta panicked when Katniss didn’t even move.

“You can’t carry her in your arms, it will her hurt her more.” Madge said while she covered Katniss’ back with her jacket. She checked Katniss’s pulse and nodded.

“I’ll take her over my shoulder. Madge, try to hold her arms and not stretch the skin.” Peeta said desperately.

The trip to the Seam was the longest he had ever made. Katniss was light over his shoulder, but he didn’t want to risk her anymore damage.

Primrose and Mrs Everdeen ran towards him when they reached the last path that lead towards Katniss’s house.

Mrs Everdeen was crying and Primrose looked almost green, but also determined.

“Bring her in.” Prim said when Peeta reached them.

He settled Katniss over their table gently and this time she stirred a bit. Mrs Everdeen cried harder. Katniss moaned painfully at the sound and Peeta took her small hand in his.

“Mom!” Primrose shouted while beginning to wash her hands.” Look at me, go get some snow and chop the mint and aloe!” Drying her hands she turned to Madge.

 

“Madge, please, pass me those scissors.” She pointed at a small metal box over the stove. Madge gave her the scissors and then left the house hurriedly.

Prim cut the shirt and removed the pieces of fabric that were plastered on her back with the blood and the pieces of flesh. Her skin was red and raw and it looked feverish.

Peeta sat with his hands holding hers, looking at her. She had a cut on her eyebrow that was slowly swelling.

Mrs Everdeen entered the room again with a pot full of snow and what it looked like a determined face. There was no trace of the weeping woman Peeta had seen a few minutes ago.

Katniss woke up when they took the last piece of fabric from her skin. She cried out painfully and opened her eyes which were full of tears.

“Katniss..shh, stay still.” Peeta said said but Katniss tried to move again, which cause a new wave of blood and cries. Peeta stood up to help Prim hold Katniss still, but the grip on his hand tightened.

“Don’t go!” she cried amidst the pain and Peeta sat again. He moved her hair behind her ear and looked at her, nodding. She was looking at him with red and tired eyes, full of tears and Peeta willed himself to hold her gaze.

“Stay still please.” he whispered, running his thumb over her cheek.

“Peeta, give her this, please.” Prim said and put a small glass with a blue hue on the table, which made Katniss scrunch her nose.

“It will make it better.” he said with what he hoped looked like a calm little smile. Katniss closed her eyes and Peeta put the glass to her lips but she shook her head. That caused the wounds reopened and he had no choice but to put the glass aside.

Mrs Everdeen put a sheet over her daughter and then Prim put a coat of ice with herbs mixed into it on top of that.

Katniss was still moving and whimpering softly, but luckily Madge appeared at the house again and gave Prim a metallic box.

“It’s morphling, give it to her.” she said and Mrs Everdeen looked at her with a small frown.

“What about Maithena?” she asked and Madge shook her head.

“Just give it to Katniss.” she said and Mrs Everdeen nodded, already filling the syringe with the clear liquid.

Katniss’s brow smoothed instantly as her mother injected the morphling into her. Her body relaxed and her eyes closed slowly when the needle was pulled out of her arm.

“Please don’t go Peeta.” Katniss whispered and then she was out. He nodded dumbly and looked at her while Prim and her Mother keep working on her back.

“I have to go, but call me if you need anything else.” Madge said putting on her coat. She placed a hand on Peeta’s shoulder and after a nod to Primrose and Mrs Everdeen she was out in the snow again.

Prim worked steadily on Katniss’s back, but Peeta noticed the young girl’s resolve breaking little by little; she had been crying softly after finishing with Katniss’s back.

But still,Prim put the things they had used away without looking at her Mother.

Mrs Everdeen had a faraway look on her face and without a word she moved like a ghost to her room..

Peeta wanted to say something but he couldn’t take his eyes off of Katniss’s face.

“She has a cut on her eyebrow.” Peeta said and Prim looked at it before running the back of her hand over her eyes. She cleaned the wound, putting on a layer of sugar and then some gauze.

“Sometimes Katniss reminds her so much of my dad that she has to look away.” Prim whispered while she cleaned her sister’s face with a damp towel.

Peeta looked at Katniss and vaguely recalled Mr Everdeen’s face.

"Yeah, I remember him.” he said, an image of a tall man with olive skin and a broad smile on his face while he sang to a little Katniss after leaving the school popping into his mind.

“I don’t. I mean, sometimes I forget him.” Prim said with a sad voice but then she added with a small smile, “But then Katniss tells me about him. How he sang, how he was, and I see why my mother sometimes has to look away.”

“I’m really sorry Prim.”

“It’s okay.” she said with a small smile. She sighed and looked at her sister. “What’s important right now is keeping Katniss asleep and changing the coat of snow every hour.”

“You can lay down for a bit, I’m staying with her.” Peeta said and Prim smiled at him.

“Thanks Peeta, Katniss was right about you.” Prim said and Peeta frowned but she didn’t say anything else.

Every hour on the dot Prim came back to the kitchen to put another layer of snow on her sister’s back.

At least it didn’t look like it had caught fire anymore.

Peeta shared a turkey sandwich with Prim and then a lemon tart Madge had left.

He stayed there, his chin pressed on the back of his hand while the other hand held Katniss’s tightly.

He fell asleep a few times, but woke up at the sound of Prim’s quiet footsteps around Katniss, changing her snow coat, or at the sound of the wind against the window pane.

A soft of tinkling noise woke him up and he saw Prim’s figure walking to her room.

He rested his cheek on the wood but he frowned when he felt something on his hand.

When he opened his eyes he found Katniss’s thumb rubbing small circles on the back of his hand.

Her eyes were closed and by her face it didn’t look like she was in pain.

Peeta rested his chin on the table, a few inches away from Katniss’s. He felt his heart jump in his ribcage when her eyes opened slowly, revealing a calm look behind her gray eyes.

"Your hand is cold." she rasped, her voice raw from sleep.

"Doesn’t matter, yours are warm." he said and Katniss sighed.

"You keep doing that, taking care of me." she whispered and Peeta gave her the glass of water Prim had left her. She drank it eagerly.

"I would do it for…I just, I want you to be okay."

She swallowed the last of the water and Peeta took the glass from her.

Her brows knitted together, but then she smiled shyly at him, her grey eyes warm.

"Thanks." she said quietly, her eyes roaming his face.

Peeta sighed and ran a hand through his hair, feeling the need to say the words he had rehearsed a hundred times in his mind. He squeezed her hand gently.

"Katniss, I, I’ll always want for you to be okay. Probably Madge’s hints were too subtle… "

"There was nothing subtle about her hints… but I thought she was teasing me…" Katniss said with laughter in her sleepy voice.

"She wasn’t.” he said seriously and Katniss nodded with a gulp. Maybe it was because he was sleepy, or maybe it was because she was too close to him, but he saw her eyes sparkle with excitement.

“Actually I wanted to ask you out on a date.” he confessed, feeling the tips of his ears catch fire.

Katniss smiled and moved her head closer to his.

"Here? Such a gentleman." she said teasingly, smiling even brighter.

"Yeah, I had the entire thing planned…" he started, his nose close to hers but she cut him off gently.

"Wait, don’t tell me, surprise me."


	2. The soot

How was it possible that things changed so quickly? Peeta stared at the wooden coffin, shivering under the heavy snow that fell on District 12.

A few hours ago he was helping Prim change Katniss’s bandages and now he was watching a coffin be lowered into the ground in the small district’s cemetery.

“Peeta,” he heard Prim’s voice through the wind and turned around to look at her. Her eyes were full of unshed tears, her nose red from the cold. Her boyfriend Rory was hugging her protectively under his arm.

“Hey,” he rasped and saw Mrs. Everdeen behind them with Madge and Gale Hawthorne. Her eyes were distant while Gale and Madge talked in hushed voices behind her.

Prim left Rory’s side and, to Peeta’s surprise, she enveloped him in a strong hug. She smelled like Katniss and his throat closed painfully.

“I’m so sorry, Peeta,” she said with a choked voice and he nodded. Prim let go of him and Rory held his hand out to him.

“I’m sorry to hear about your Dad, he was a really good man,” he said with a deep voice, his grey eyes serious. He was almost as tall as Gale, but he looked less angry and his hair was hidden under a red woollen hat. Peeta couldn’t help but noticed how he held Prim, who looked small next to him and so delicate, but at the same time fit perfectly.

“Thanks for coming” he asked, his hands in his pockets.”How’s Katniss?”

“She was really upset she couldn’t be here, her back is not fully healed yet,” Prim said and Peeta nodded.

“It’s okay,” he said with a small smile and turned around when he heard his mother’s voice.

Peeta nodded at Prim and Rory and then walked toward his family. Bran and Delly were watching Mrs. Mellark talk with worried faces while Sam tried to calm her.

“I will not stand having that woman here,” she spit, looking at Mrs. Everdeen and Peeta sighed.

“She was dad’s friend,” Sam said tiredly but his mother looked at him with a frown.

“She’s nothing more than a coal miner’s whore,” she said again and her icy blue eyes shone with resentment.

“Okay, Mother, enough. I’ll ask her to go, but please don’t insult her,” Peeta said with a low voice but Mrs. Mellark huffed.

“The three of you, all soft like your fool of a Father,” as she said this her face softened a bit and her lower lip quivered slightly. “He was a fool, a fool!”

“Mom, please,” Peeta said, extending his arms towards her but she shook her head and covered her mouth with both of her shaking hands.

“He was a fool!” she gasped. Sam put his hands on her shoulders and she buried her face on his chest.

Peeta saw Mrs. Everdeen leave the graveyard with Prim and the Hawthorne boys quickly while Magde walked towards him. She hugged Peeta and kissed his cheek, saying she was sorry.

She greeted the Mellarks and Delly gracefully and when Mrs. Mellark was calm enough they finally left the graveyard.

Peeta was still trying to understand the last forty eight hours.

“He had asked me about Katniss, we were doing prep work and I went inside the pantry as I was telling him about her, and then all of a sudden I heard the tray hit the floor and then I went to kitchen again and he was on the floor, his hand on his chest,” Peeta said to Madge while they walked toward Town. Delly was holding Bran’s hand and Sam was walking with his mother,a long arm across her back.

“I’m so sorry, Peeta,” Madge said, squeezing his forearm through his thick coat.

“It was so sudden,” he whispered, shaking his head, the sight of his dad’s blue eyes void of life still fresh on his mind.

Madge was saying something about Katniss and he tried to pay attention, but his mind was somewhere else, a weird place where his father was still smiling kindly at him.

Soon the night fell and he realized that he didn’t remember Madge leaving, but to be honest he didn’t even remember getting to his house from the graveyard.

He was staring at the ceiling of his father’s small office next to the kitchen. It was always warm because it shared a wall with the main oven. Peeta had taken his mattress from his bed and put it on the floor between the desk and a small closet.

He put the cover aside, opened the closet door and turned on the small lamp. There was a stack of white ironed aprons inside, the scent of the soap still fresh.

His father’s coat was hanging from the hook and Peeta leaned into it. He searched the pockets and found an order for a small wedding cake. Peeta smiled at the small sketch with his father’s handwriting.

His scent still lingered and Peeta’s eyes watered, his jaw quivering. Hot tears fell and he cried for a long time, his father’s apron still in his hand.

 

* * *

 

Katniss sighed in relief when Prim put the minty cream over her back.

“He was still in shock I think,” Prim said after Katniss had asked her sister about Mr. Mellark’s funeral. It was surprising to hear a knock on their door that early morning, and the news Madge had made her terribly sad.

She knew Mr. Mellark, she traded with him every week and he was always kind to her, always trying to put an extra roll or cookie in her bag for Prim and her.

“His mother made a fuss because mom was there, so we left,” Prim explained.

“Oh,” Katniss whispered, wondering why. Mrs. Mellark was known for being sour and hard with her children and husband, but Katniss didn’t know why she held a grudge against their own mother.

When her mom entered the house later that night Katniss was tempted to ask her, but she could see the lost look in her mother’s eyes and droped the subject.

“Katniss, wake up,” Madge’s voice roused Katniss and she wondered when she had fallen asleep.

“Hey,” she said, her voice hoarse. Madge was next to her on the chair that Peeta had sat on a couple of nights ago.

“You okay?” Madge asked and Katniss nodded slowly. Her back was healing faster thanks to the constant care of Prim and their mom, but now she had annoying thin layers of scar tissue that made her want to scratch her back.

“How’s Peeta?” she asked Madge and she smiled.

“He’s shaken, but he’s strong guy,” Madge said and then sighed, looking nervous. “Listen Katniss, I need to ask you something.”

Katniss frowned at her friend and Madge smiled weakly.

“Is everything okay?” she asked nodded.

“Yeah, I just...umm, I wanted to, actually it was my father, but we both agree-”

“Madge, just tell me,” Katniss said, scared at her friend’s behaviour

“My father asked me to offer you a job in our house. We have a maid, but she’s tired and you could help us run errands and with all the household stuff. That way you don’t have to go to the woods everyday.” she said this quickly and looked at Katniss with a guarded expression, like she was offending her somehow, but Katniss thought about it with her mouth open.

“You want me to work at your house?” she asked slowly, feeling her heart beat loudly in her ears.

“Yeah, you would buy the groceries, take and pick up the laundry, clean the kitchen, because Mimi refuses to let someone help her with the rest of the house,” Madge finished in a small voice.

“Are you serious?” Katniss asked with the same tone and Madge nodded slowly.

“We don’t want you to get caught again,” she whispered and Katniss felt tears in her eyes.

“Yes, of course!” she said, thinking about the stability of the job, thinking about how she wouldn’t have to be afraid of getting caught. She wouldn’t have to be afraid of lashes anymore. She thought about helping Prim everyday and she smiled.

“Great!” Madge said squeezing her hand and Katniss smiled at her. “I asked Prim and she said your back would take at least another week to heal so, yeah.”

“Madge, you have no idea how much this means to me, to my family,” Katniss said in a choked whisper and Madge kissed her friend’s cheek.

“It’s the least I could do.”

Katniss smiled and was still smiling long after Madge left the house.

“I guess sometimes things change, Duck,” she whispered to Prim that night while Prim was cutting leaves of aloe vera to rub on her back.

“I’m glad you won’t have to go into the woods anymore,” she said and Katniss chuckled. “And you’ll be near the bakery.”

“Meaning?” Katniss asked trying to sound aloof but Prim laughed.

“Meaning.” Prim answered with a shrug. “Tomorrow I’ll put some bandages on your back so you can sleep in the bed.”

Katniss was glad, her body felt stiff and uncomfortable from the roughness of the table. Her bones protested and she groaned loudly when Prim helped her off of the table the next morning. Prim covered her back with bandages and then helped her to put on a loose shirt and woolen jacket.

At least she could sit down, but she was getting restless, she couldn’t remember the last time she had stayed in her house in the morning. She was used to waking up at dawn to go to the woods. But now, as she watched how Prim and her Mother left for their own obligations, she wondered what she could do, because moving was not an option.

She spent another week like this, knitting, sewing old pants and shirt’s buttons. She didn’t want to admit it, but she was disappointed that Peeta didn’t visit her. He had sent a loaf a bread along with a doodle of him trapped by a big loaf of bread and underneath was a note that said he was busy with the bakery, but as soon as things settled he would visit her. He had signed with a small Love, Peeta and Katniss made an effort not grin like a fool in front of Prim.

Every night, she fell asleep looking at those two small words; Love, Peeta.

 

_“Why are you asking me about Peeta Mellark again?” Katniss asked watching Madge and Prim pick strawberries from the basket with a fond smile._

_“He asked me about you,” there, finally Madge said something specific. She had been running in circles with hints and small jokes for weeks._

_“What about him?” Katniss asked trying to keep her cool. Madge didn’t know about the bread Peeta had given her years ago that had saved her and her family’s lives._

_“You tell me,” Madge said with a wink. Katniss sighed, feeling her cheeks redden. Without really trying, along the years, she had followed Peeta Mellark, maybe to thank him, maybe to make sure he was okay. And, if she was honest with herself, she knew that she wasattracted to him, not only because he had turned into a handsome boy, but because he was kind and funny and there was something about him that sometimes made Katniss want to stay for a few more minutes with him after their trade._

_“He’s chatty, but he’s really nice,” she said, blushing. Prim and Madge smiled at her but thankfully they dropped the subject. But that night, when Prim asked her about Peeta, she couldn’t help but admit out loud what she had been thinking the entire day. And maybe for years._

_“He’s kind, and I don’t know why, but I feel like he’s always making sure I’m okay when he asks me about the woods or when he walks me to the Square. He’s really kind,” she whispered to Prim._

_“So I guess it wouldn’t be such a bad thing to have him around, huh?” Prim asked with a smile and Katniss shrugged but didn't say anything else._

_“You really don’t know, do you?” Prim whispered after a few minutes, but Katniss was falling asleep, tired from her long day in the woods. She mumbled a no, wondering what Prim was talking about._

She opened her eyes. She was still in her bed with Prim snoring softly next to her, their mother breathing deeply in the bed next to theirs.

The memory of that conversation had popped into her mind at random moments during the week and today, after a tortuous week of doing nothing, she was finally ready to start her job at the Mayor’s house.

She was really nervous. The lashes on her back were covered by a layer of scar tissue thick enough to let her move and Prim, reluctantly, gave her permission to work if Katniss promised she would take it easy the first few days.

She sighed, her breath visible in the still dark and cold District.

She made her way to Town while all the miners left their houses to work with their helmets hanging from their hands. She shivered at thought of going to the same place her dad had died and she was grateful once again to have a job in Town; she would miss the woods, but she couldn’t risk hunting, at least not now.

She made it to the main square where all the Merchants were opening their shops for the day and with a small smile she wondered about Peeta. Then, as if she had called him with her mind, she saw the bakery’s back door open and Peeta leaving the house.

“No,” she whispered and ran as fast as she could with the bandages toward him. He was carrying a helmet and under his coat and scarf he was wearing the same coveralls she had seen just minutes ago.

“Peeta!” she yelped, the cold air feeling like daggers in her lungs. He lifted his head and looked at her sadly.

“Hey,” his voice was small, his shoulders hunched and eyes sad.

“What are you doing?” she said and when she stepped right in front of him she noticed he had a gash on his cheekbone.

“I can’t work with her,” he said as an only explanation and tried to move past her.

“Don’t, please don’t go into the mines,” she said putting her small hands on both of his shoulders. She felt panic running through her veins. He was a baker, not a coal miner, and the idea of him trapped under the ground made her want to cry.

“Katniss, please,” he said, placing his hands on her hips gently. Katniss realized that they haven’t spoken since that time after she was whipped, their only interaction the doodles he’d sent her with the bread. It was not her place to ask him things, no matter what or how she felt.

She dropped her hands at her sides, but Peeta took them quickly. They felt rough under her touch and she could feel the calluses forming.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t visit you,” he said, rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb. He was looking at her intensely, his bright blue eyes still a bit sleepy. The sun was rising and his hair looked like a halo around his head.

“It’s okay, I’m better,” she mumbled, her eyes glued to his. He smiled softly when she put her hand on his cheek and ran her thumb delicately over his gash. His eyes were roaming her face, just like they had when she was laying on the table with her back full of fresh lashes.

“I should leave,” he mumbled and Katniss moved her hand slowly and then took a step back. She hadn’t realized how close they had gotten.

“Yeah, me too,” she said hoarsely. He smiled shyly at her and moved past her and this time she couldn’t help it. She called out to him and when he turned around he was surprised by her hands on his shoulders and a soft kiss on his cheek.

“Please, take care,” she said and he nodded numbly. She turned around and walked quickly to Madge’s house, not daring to look back at Peeta, because then he would see the blush and the smile that came when she felt his stubble on her lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks a million again to eatnightlockforbreakfast, you rock M.  
> I'm working on the next chapter.  
> Thanks for reading :)  
> Mari


	3. An awful sound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katniss starts working in Town and Peeta in the mines.

 

 

 

“The flour, sugar, and baking powder are in the pantry. We buy bread every two days, it can’t be stale obviously, but we make toast with butter with the last pieces,” Mimi said with authority.

Katniss nodded, trying to figure out the old maid. Her hair was white and tied in a tight bun behind her head. Her skin was pale and Katniss couldn’t decide if her eyes were grey or blue but she was sure that they seemed to hide something, like she was the only one that could understand the jokes.

“Questions, braid?” Mimi asked with a piercing look and Katniss shook her head.

“It’s Katniss,” she said, putting her braid behind her.

“Okay, Katniss,” she said with a smirk.

“Be nice Mimi,” Madge said entering the kitchen quickly. She was barefoot, her shoes in her hand, a coat over her forearm, and she was wearing her standard grey skirt and blazer from the Justice Building.

“I’m being nice, right?” she asked, looking at Katniss with a crooked eyebrow and she nodded dumbly.

“Don’t worry, she barks but she doesn’t bite,” Madge said with a smile, putting on her shoes. “How’s your back?” she asked Katniss while Mimi handed her a small cup of tea.

“Good, healing. Prim’s a genius,” Katniss said with a smile and Madge smiled as well over her cup of tea.

“Great,” Madge said, putting her cup in the sink. “I gave mom her medicines, she was sleeping. I think she’s having a good day,” Mimi nodded at Madge’s words and Katniss realized how much Madge trusted her because the Mayor’s wife had always been kind of a mystery to the District.

“I’ll check on her later,” Mimi said and helped Madge with her coat. “And I’ll be nice with your friend, don’t worry.”

Madge smiled at Katniss and she shifted on her feet uneasily but smiled weakly.

“Have a good day you two,” Madge said over her shoulder, ready to leave but then Katniss heard her friend’s voice calling her.

Vick Hawthorne was standing at the doorstep with a bag of clothes, shifting from one foot to the other, shivering from the cold.

“Madge asked me if I could bring this,” he said showing her the bag.

“Thank you boy,” Mimi said taking the bag and handing him a few coins. Prim and Rory were waiting with Posy, who was on Rory’s shoulders, and they waved at her smiling. Prim probably was going to town to buy some supplies while Rory dropped his siblings off at school before his midday shift in the mines. Katniss waved back and went inside again with Mimi before seeing how her little sister held hands with her boyfriend.

“So, now you’ll do the weekly inventory and then you’ll clean the cupboards. Don’t stretch your back too much or Miss Madge will have my head.”

Katniss nodded, taking the small notepad from Mimi.

“You can talk, you know.” Mimi said to Katniss with a smirk, which made her blush.

“I know,” she said in a low voice. Mimi nodded and took the bag of clothes upstairs.

Katniss spent the rest of the morning cleaning and rinsing the silverware and cups from the cupboards. It was a big kitchen, with a stove and a marble counter and Katniss liked that it had a black and white checkered floor. The house wasn’t so big but it was nicely decorated, far from the gossip that said it was like those houses the Capitol showed in the mandatory viewings of the Games. But what Katniss liked the most was that it was warm, with grilles that blew hot air. She stood underneath one for a few minutes, enjoying the air.

“Are you here to work or to stand in the middle of the kitchen looking at the ceiling?” Mimi asked and Katniss jumped.

“I’m sorry, I was going to follow you...” Katniss said, cursing at her stupidity for staying under hot air.

“Mhmm,” Mimi said opening a cabinet next to the icebox .She took out a syringe and a box like the one Madge had given Prim when she was healing her back. “I’m gonna give this to Mrs. Undersee, you go to the bakery for two loaves of bread and a lemon tart, the money is in the drawer under the table.”

Katniss watched as Mimi went upstairs while she put her coat on and left the house toward the bakery wondering what was wrong with Madge’s mom.

 

The air was icy and it hurt when the blasts of wind hit her face, so the warm bakery was welcome on her shivering body.

“How can I help you?” Mrs. Mellark was looking at her coldly while she put warm loaves of bread in baskets.

“Hello Mrs. Mellark, I’ll take two loaves of white bread and a lemon tart please,” Katniss said with her kindest voice possible, trying to ignore that the woman across from her was the reason Peeta was working in the mines.

“I never thought I would see you walking through the front door,” Mrs. Mellark said coldly and Katniss clenched her jaw.

“And yet, here I am,” Katniss said trying to reign inher temper. Mrs Mellark snickered and shook her head.

“Funny, isn’t it?” she asked mockingly and Katniss sighed, looking at the woman. Her blue eyes shone with anger and what Katniss thought were tears. “You’re here, in town, and Peeta is down in the mines.”

“He’s there because of you,” Katniss said angrily, trying to keep her voice low.

“He went there by himself. You could survive, you know how to do that, but Peeta? He walks with his head on the clouds, he’s clumsy and I wouldn’t be surprised if he causes another accident,” her words were bitter and her eyes were swimming with tears and Katniss realized that Mrs. Mellark had been waiting to say those words.

“How can you say that? He’s your son,” Katniss said,her throat knotted painfully and her hands shaking.

“Yes, but he’s his father’s son, I saw that boy burn bread, drop flour and waste icing-”

“Mother, I think that’s enough,” a deep voice made Katniss jump a bit and Mrs. Mellark looked at her son panting and shaking. Peeta’s older brother Sam was standing with his hair disheveled and the front of his apron covered in flour. Mrs. Mellark huffed with annoyance and gave the bag to Katniss, her blue eyes now full of tears.

“I’m sorry about that,” he said cleaning his hands. Katniss shook her head and took the bag but before she could leave the words left her mouth.

“Please, convince him to leave the mines,” she pleaded and Sam looked at her sadly.

“I did and said everything. Bran, Delly and Madge too,” Sam shook his head and placed his hands on the counter. He was massive, taller than Peeta but just as broad as him and looked like some kind of wildman with abundant blonde hair. “He would listen to you, that’s for sure.”

“Why?” Katniss asked with a frown and Sam smiled slowly.

“Umm, he has a high regard for you,” he said and his smile stretched.

“Oh! Okay, I will talk to him then,” she said and left the bakery quickly, thinking about Sam’s words and the doodle Peeta had sent her. Still, she couldn’t imagine why a boy like Peeta would like her. She had a permanent scowl on her face and Prim always said that Katniss couldn’t stay calm without flying off the handle but she shook her head as soon as she remembered what Peeta’s mom had said. Fear consumed her, not because she thought Peeta could cause an accident, but because accidents could happen down in the mines, she had experienced it first hand.

Those nightmarish images of her dad running toward an escape impossible to reach were now playing in her head, but Peeta was the one running.

“Please, tell me what that poor rag did.”

“Huh?” Katniss asked taking her eyes from the window. Mimi pointed and Katniss realized she had been looking outside while squeezing a rag to clean the marble counter.

“I’m glad miss Madge sent me such a hard working girl,” Mimi said with a smirk pointing at Katniss’s hands clutching the rag.

“The rag started it,” Katniss said with a shrug, cleaning the counter and Mimi laughed, shaking her head.

“Is your back hurting? Your face looks like it is,” Mimi asked.

“No, I’m...umm, I’m worried about someone that’s down in the mines, that’s all,” Katniss explained and Mimi nodded with a grave expression.

“The only thing you can do is hope and wait for them to be okay,” Mimi said after a small silence and shook her head. “I knew your dad and I’m sorry that you have to worry about another person you love being there.”

Katniss was going to explain that she didn’t love the person she was worried about but the words died in her mouth, thinking about the drawing Peeta had sent her with those two last words, _Love, Peeta._

She nodded at Mimi instead, feeling bad because Gale had been working down in the mines for more than three years and she remembered feeling the same fear when he started, but this was different. Still, she couldn’t think about Peeta and Gale together for too long, because for some reason Gale and Peeta didn’t coexist well enough in her thoughts.

 

At lunchtime Mimi served the most delicious thing Katniss ever tasted. It was rice, but the good kind, not the kind from the Hob that turned into a paste, and it had a sweet sauce with carrots, peas, potatoes and sweet potatoes.

“I take it you like my rice?” Mimi asked when Katniss couldn't help but moan a bit after a particularly rich spoonful. She could only remember eating something so wonderful once and that was the loaves of bread Peeta had thrown her. That day Katniss felt it was the best thing she had ever tasted, because it meant more than two loaves of bread with raisins and nuts.

“It’s really good, I’m not used to eat food like this,” she said looking at her plate, her face reddening with shame. Mimi touched her hand quickly and Katniss lifted her eyes from the plate and looked at Mimi, who was staring at her with a determined face.

“Good to know you like it. Maybe you can take some of it home,” she said firmly and Katniss nodded, thinking that maybe Mimi wasn’t so bad. “Now, stop staring at me like I’m some kind of Effie Trinket.”

Katniss snickered and finished her meal in silence.

 

The rest of the afternoon Katniss spent her time following Mimi around the house while she explained her all the chores that needed to be done. It was a good thing because her head keptep  going to Peeta and the mines and the fear made it hard to breath normally.

She finally met Mrs Undersee briefly. She was in her husband’s study under a very low light sleeping softly.

“Her headaches make her stay in bed most of the time, when she comes here it’s because she’s feeling better,” Mimi whispered before closing the door softly. Katniss nodded and looked at Madge’s mother. Her soft blond hair was braided and she looked very fragile in a white nightgown with a quilt over her knees. She looked like she had her mother’s age and to Katniss’s surprise both had that distinctive look of sadness on their brows when they sleep, which made Katniss wonder what had happened to her. Maybe she had lost someone too, like everyone has in the District.

Katniss’s thoughts went to Peeta again and fear bubbled up in her stomachso by the time she was ready to finish her first day of work she was nervous but determined, MImi’s words had made her way into her brain; the only thing she could do was wait.

She thanked the old maid for the basket with food and after tying her scarf protectively around her neck, she walked toward the mines.

 

***

 

She held the basket closely to her side, her knuckles white and cold. She felt a bit silly, but she needed to see him. She sat on one of the broken pillars at the entrance of the mines and tried not to think about the last time she had been there, when the explosion took her father’s life.

The whistle indicating the last shift made her jump a bit, but the distraction was welcomed. A few minutes later the cages were pulling the miners back above ground. Most of them were her neighbors from the Seam, so they looked at her curiously wondering why she was there but still nodded to greet her.

“Catnip! Did something happen?” she saw Gale walking towards her worried but Katniss shook her head.

“No, no, I was...umm, looking for...” she mumbled nervously but Gale cut her off.

  
“Did you come to pick me up?” he asked with a crooked smile but Katniss opened and closed her mouth, not knowing how to tell him no.

“Actually I was waiting for Peeta,” she said finally, looking at him briefly before lowering her eyes to her shoes.

“Oh,” Gale said with a nod, his eyes cold. His face was covered with soot but she could see how tense he was. She nodded feeling her blush on her cheeks. “He’s on the last cage, you know, rooky,” he added with a small smile. A very tense small smile that looked far from being genuine.

“Ha, okay, I’ll wait for him. Yeah, okay, umm, thanks,” she said nervously with a small smile and Gale nodded.

“So, I guess I’ll see you around,” he said and before Katniss could say something else he turned around and walked away from the mines, along with large groups of men and women.

Katniss closed her eyes and sighed tiredly. She knew Gale would be weird about it, not even once she had come to the mines to pick him up, but on Peeta’s first day she was there. A part of her felt like she was betraying her best friend, but another part felt like she needed to see if Peeta was fine. Maybe her parts should shut up for once and let her be.

She sat down again and waited and when the sun was setting the last cage emerged. She stood up and smiled when she saw Peeta’s blonde hair standing out like a sore thumb between the dark hair of the Seam’s miners. His crew was laughing at something he was saying and when he saw her he had look twice before a bright smile spread across his face. Her stomach was jumping nervously and her heart was drumming wildly in her chest.

She walked toward him slowly, while the boys from the Seam said their goodbyes to Peeta with a friendly slap on his back and to her with a small nod.

“Hi,” he said, smiling.

“Hi,” she said nervously.

“What are you doing here?” he asked and Katniss realized he was holding back and even brighter smile.

“I just...I wanted to make sure you were okay,” she said looking at her boots. The snow was covered in soot and and Peeta’s boots were covered in soot as well. She saw them when he stepped closer and she lifted her head to look at him.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” he said, a grin so big and contagious that Katniss couldn’t help but return it.

“Good, I’m glad, it’s on my way home, so, you know... ” she said shrugging and Peeta took her hand.

“Thanks,” he said, running his thumb against the back of her hand. “How was your first day?” he asked.

“Kids, please move from the entrance,” the foreman interrupted them and Peeta sighed dropping her hand. They walked slowly toward the exit and Peeta put his big hand on her back.

“So, the first day?” he asked again, now outside the wired fence.

“It was okay, I didn’t have to do much. It’s very different from the woods, that’s for sure,” she said and Peeta nodded looking at her with a gleam in his eyes, like she was saying the most important thing in the world. “Here, I brought you an apple,” she added, lifting the towel from the basket Mimi gave her.

“Really?” Peeta asked and Katniss nodded.

“I remember my dad liked to eat apples after his shifts because his throat always felt dry. You should drink a lot of water too,” Katniss said looking at him and Peeta smiled, taking the apple.

“Thanks a lot, my throat does feel sore,” he said nodding.

“And you should cut your hair because it will be easier to wash, especially during winter,” she remembered her dad always kept his hair and beard trimmed. Peeta ran a hand through his curls with a nod.

“Yeah, it was about time anyway,” he said tugging the locks gently. Katniss nodded with a smile but didn’t say a word about the beard, because she kind of liked the golden stubble on his jaw. He didn’t say much about the mines and Katniss was grateful, the less she knew the better. Instead he told her about his crew and how growing up lifting heavy bags of flours was a good thing.

They reached the path where they were supposed to part ways and Peeta cleared his throat nervously.

“So, thanks for the apple,” he said with a smile and Katniss nodded, holding the basket tightly to control her nervous hands.

“No problem,” she mumbled, kicking a few pebbles. Peeta ran his hands through his hair again and smiled at her. There was a small pause in which Peeta opened his mouth to say something and took a step forward. He closed his mouth and smiled again, crooking his head a bit.

”You have no idea how much it means to me... this, you coming here, this apple,” he said with a big smile with his eyes fixed on her face and Katniss shivered, because he was stepping closer and closer and he was leaning in and she closed her eyes and then she felt his lips on her cheek, soft and warm and the tip of his nose, cold. Katniss leaned a bit into him and shivered.

 “You should go home, it’s getting dark,” Peeta whispered, his lips still close to her skin. Katniss nodded slowly and Peeta took a step back.

 

 ***

 

“So, you haven’t kissed yet?” Prim asked in a whisper that night after their mother had fallen asleep. Katniss shook her head, still looking at the ceiling “Was that a yes or a no? I can’t see you,” Prim said poking her on her ribs and Katniss stifled a laugh.

“No,” she whispered back and Prim sighed.

“What are you waiting for?” Prim asked with an edge on her voice.

“Dunno,” she mumbled, drumming her fingers against her stomach.

“Do you want to kiss him?” the question hung in the air. Her first thought was that yes, she wanted to kiss him. Well, if she was honest with herself she wanted more than to kiss him; sometimes she felt the need to know how he tasted, how he slept, how he would feel laying on top of her, how his fingers would feel on her naked skin and so much more. It was like his gentle and soft kiss on her cheek had awoken a hunger within her that she couldn’t contain. But she didn’t want to tell that to Prim and she was grateful for the darkness, because she was pretty sure she was red like a strawberry.

“I think I do,” she said instead and Prim giggled.

“Katniss is in looove,” her sister said in a singsong voice and Katniss groaned, turned around and buried her face in her pillow. Prim laughed out loud and Katniss tried to shush her with a poke on the ribs, which made Prim laugh harder and Katniss started to laugh too.

“Katniss and Peeta...” Prim sang, trying to be quiet, but her laughter was hard to contain.

“Shut up Duck” Katniss said, trying to cover her sister’s mouth with her hand but between the darkness and Prim covering her face she couldn’t do it. And she was laughing too.

 “... sitting in a tree...” both were laughing now but Katniss kept trying to make Prim stop by tickling her.

 “Prim please stop,  we have to wake up early.“ Their mother’s sleepy voice made them stop, which took a few minutes, but finally they were calm enough to try to sleep.

Prim mumbled something and Katniss couldn’t quite catch it, but she smiled and sleep won at last.

 

The next day, after finishing with the dishes and dusting the cabinets in the living room, Mimi told Katniss to go home. The clouds in the sky were becoming darker and darker, like it was a bad omen for the bad day that was coming.

 

By the time she made it to the mines a frozen wind was blowing and Katniss shivered and tucked her face further into her scarf. She didn’t have any excuses to see Peeta this time, but she had made her way from Madge’s house to the mines without a second thought.

 “What happened?” Katniss asked Peeta when she saw Gale leaving alone with that angry look and pace she knew so well. He threw her that same angry look over his shoulder when he walked past them, his crewmates behind him whispering.

 “Well...there was a bit of a scuffle today down there,” Peeta explained, scratching behind his ear nervously.

 “What happened?” Katniss asked again and Peeta cleared his throat, looking everywhere but at her.

 “Peeta!” she said shaking his arm gently and  he sighed. He took her outside the mines to the place where they had parted ways yesterday.

 “Ok, let's just say you...you are a pretty girl, a really pretty girl...” he said after a silence and what looked like an encouraging intake of breath and Katniss felt her heart drumming in her chest quickly and her cheeks redden. Peeta noticed this and smiled.

 “Oh, “ she mumbled quietly “but, why did Gale get into a fight for that?”

 “Well...someone from his crew made fun of him because you picked me up yesterday and not him.”

Her face probably showed her confusión because Peeta sighed.

 “A lot of boys like you Katniss, me too, in case you haven't noticed, and I think Gale did for a long time and still does... I thought he was your boyfriend,” Peeta said with a shrug but all Katniss could think about was the fact that he liked her. Peeta liked her.

 “He never was my boyfriend,” she said quickly, her insides still doing cartwheels at his words.

 “I know now but when I found out, I dunno, I felt like he was the competition or something," he shrugged and Katniss felt like he had said something he had kept to himself for years, like a big secret. The way he was looking at her made her step forward.

 “Well, you don't have much competition anywhere,” she said with all the courage she could muster.

 Peeta looked at her with a shy smile and took a step forward at the same time his cold hand cupped her face. His lips were soft against hers and she smiled when his beard tickled her a bit.

 “What?” he asked with a smile.

 “Nothing...umm, I'm glad you didn't shave today,” she said with running her thumb over his cheek. Peeta looked at her and kissed her again but something wet landed on her closed eyelid. Then on her cheek and forehead.

 “Wow, I made it rain, I finally kissed you,” Peeta said looking at the sky and Katniss laughed. She reached on her tiptoes and kissed him again but they had to stop because with the rain and the wind is was getting darker and darker.

 “I’ll see you tomorrow,” Peeta whispered and kissed her one last time.

 “Yeah,” Katniss said cursing at the stupid winter. She just wanted to kiss Peeta longer, preferably in a dry and warm place, but they couldn’t risk getting sick. 

But the storm got worse and Katniss only had the chance to see Peeta once and briefly during the next four days. He had kissed her deeply, leaving her breathless and with a promise of seeing each other soon before sprinting toward the mines under the rain.

 A curtain of frozen water was falling on the District and both made their ways to their jobs quickly, always trying to see if they could see each other but the water and the wind made it almost impossible.

 “The Mellark boy left this for you,” Mimi said as a greeting. She was holding a piece of paper and a towel.

 “Thanks Mimi,” Katniss said taking the paper and the towel. Madge smiled at her over her mouth full of toast.

 “How’s the happy couple?” she asked quickly swallowing the toast, but she choked a bit a crumb and started to cough before Katniss could answer. Mimi shook her head and patted her back.

 “That was the crumb that warned you about minding your own business,” Mimi said while Madge kept coughing between gulps of water.

 Katniss chuckled and opened the small parcel of paper. It had an apple drawing on the margin and it said:

 

_Katniss,_

_I want to give you something and the rain might ruin it._

_Wait for me at Madge’s, I’ll pick you up._

_Love, Peeta_

 

Katniss put the paper in her apron and looked at Madge. She was red in the face still breathing heavily.

 “So?” Madge asked in a wheezy voice and Katniss grinned.

 “Such a bad weather, right? But the rain might stop today,” she said instead and Madge rolled her eyes.

 “Such a tease,” she said finishing her tea and Katniss laughed. Mimi left with a tray and Katniss shrugged.

 “He asked me to wait for him, he wants to give me something,” she said.

 “What? What? Katniss!” Madge exclaimed with a smile and Katniss shrugged, soaping the plates and cups.

 “Dunno, he said that,” she answered and Madge sighed.

 “What’s with the mystery?” she asked throwing her hands in the air while she walked to the small bathroom near the kitchen. After brushing her teeth Madge left the house singing something about young love and Katniss laughed at Mimi’s face.

 “Now because the baker got your heart, it means your head will be in the clouds, right?” Mimi asked with a crooked eyebrow and Katniss frowned.

 “Who’s the baker?” Katniss asked with a little smile and Mimi laughed.

 “That’s more like it,” she said and then told Katniss list of chores for the day.

 Despite her promise to Mimi, Katniss couldn’t help but let her thoughts to go to Peeta and what he wanted to give her. A kiss would be welcome and a hug would be nice too. Maybe he wanted to take her on the date he had mentioned when she had been whipped- Oh no, Mimi was looking at her with that face that seemed to know everything and Katniss shook her head, maybe that would make the reading of the mind harder.

 “And how long have you known the Mellark boy?” Mimi asked when they were wrapping for the day.

 Katniss was leaning against the counter while Mimi sat on the table sewing one of the Mayor’s shirts. She was waiting for Peeta too, Katniss could tell.

 “Since we were kids,” Katniss said with a smile and Mimi shook her head.

 “I meant romantically, girl,” she said with exasperation, as if Katniss was being dense on purpose.

 “Oh, it’s not like that, we..umm..it’s, actually, he helped me once when we were children and then when I was whipped he was there too,” Katniss said cursing her incapacity of talking about Peeta without turning into a babbling mess.

 “So you’ve liked each other for a long time?” Mimi said and Katniss nodded after a small pause. Yes, she had liked Peeta Mellark for a long time, even before she could acknowledge it. Mimi went upstairs and told her to call her because she wanted to meet Peeta.

 Katniss smiled and grabbed a dish towel to dry the plates while humming an old song, something her father had taught her about a cicada singing under the sun. Mimi had left her the basket with food and she was thinking about saving some rolls to eat with Peeta.

 She opened the cupboard to put back the plates inside, but they landed noisily on the floor when Katniss ran desperately outside.

 The sirens that warned about an accident in the mines were echoing through the entire District.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dundunndun.  
> Thanks a million to eatnightlockforbreakfast (or hanginghope on Tumbrl) She's the light in my grammar and typos darkness.  
> Feel free to let me know what you think, I would love to have some feedback and I'm looking forward to keep posting this story, it's almost done, so.  
> The title of this chapter is from Arcade Fire's song, Awful sound (Oh Eurydice).  
> I'm on Tumbrl, annthetropicalfish, come say hi,I'll say hi back :)


	4. It's Over Too Soon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The odds were not in her favor but she just didn’t know it yet.

_Katniss was doing her Math homework and she absolutely hated it. She knew she would never need it because it wasn’t necessary to know fractions or the multiplication tables to dig coal so why did they bother? The number nine table was particularly hard and it made her loathe the number even more._

_“Do you need help, Kat?” her father asked looking at her. Prim looked at her too and smiled at her big sister. Katniss smiled back weakly and shrugged._

_“Why do I need this? I can’t remember the number nine table,” she asked grumpily looking at the numbers and her father looked at her with a smile that reached his eyes. Katniss really liked his eyes because they were grey but it was the kind of grey she saw in the sky when the sun was coming behind the stormy clouds._

_“Actually, you don’t,” he whispered leaning over the table a bit. Prim giggled and Katniss looked at him surprised. At school the teacher always said it was important and even if she thought it wasn’t she would never say it out loud. The Capitol might hear it, like some girls from Town said._

_“No, you don’t,” Prim repeated because she looked at her dad like he had hung the moon, the shining lights that sometimes crossed the skies and the clouds. And she loved to repeat what he said._

_“But if I don’t do this I’ll get triple the homework next time” Katniss said scowling. Her father nodded and drummed the pencil against the table and narrowed his eyes._

_“I hated math too,” he mumbled running a hand over his jaw and Katniss and Prim laughed. “But I do remember that nine times eight is eighty-nine,” Katniss lifted her eyes from the numbers and looked at her dad._

_“No it’s not, it’s seventy-two,” she corrected him softly and her dad frowned._

_“Then nine times nine is eighty-seven,” he said looking at Prim with his eyebrows raised, awaiting a confirmation._

_“I don’t know daddy;” she giggled and Katniss laughed._

_“Nine times nine is eighty-one,” Katniss said and her dad hummed._

_“So I guess my memory is failing me, because I think nine times three is thirty-eight,” he said looking at Prim. Katniss laughed at her dad._

_“It’s twenty-seven!” she said with a smile, realizing her dad was just messing with her. “What’s nine times seven?” she asked him. Her dad scratched his head thinking, then scratched Prim’s head and she laughed, her small frame shaking. Her dad tickled her and Prim shriek with laughter._

_“I’m not sure, but I think it’s and Evening Primrose,” he said and both girls laughed at him._

_“That’s not even a number, dad!” Prim said rolling her eyes and their dad nodded._

_“I know, so Katniss will tell us what nine times seven is,” he said with a bright smile and Katniss smiled too._

_“Sixty-three,” she said after a small pause and her dad knocked on the table._

_“So you know number nine table,” he said and looked at Prim, “I think your sister has a case of selective forgetfulness.” Katniss and Prim laughed and Katniss reluctantly agreed with her dad._

_Her mom arrived shortly after that, smelling like rain and cold. They had dinner and her father sung them to sleep._

_When Katniss heard her dad leaving their house early the next morning she rushed to their porch, forgetting about her coat and yelled at her dad._

_“Nine times seven?” her dad turned around among his crewmates and neighbours with a big smile._

_“Bow and arrows!” he said and then waved at her. Katniss smiled and entered the house._

The image of her father’s back looped in her head over and over again while she waited for the cages to arrive.

“Isn’t this a piece of fucking luck, Kat?” Prim mumbled darkly and Katniss’s throat closed painfully, taking her out of the memory she had from the last time she had seen her father. She looked for her mother and unlike the last accident, she was helping a burned man. She shook her head. She couldn’t remember what was the last thing she had said to Peeta.

There was a collective gasp when the first cage arrived and Katniss spotted Gale. His friends Thom and Bristel were holding him by his arms and he was crying. Hazelle ran quickly to hug her eldest, but Gale fell to his knees.

“I couldn’t see Rory, I couldn’t see him,” he said and Hazelle and his siblings hugged him. Katniss felt Prim next to her sniffling, her eyes red breathing heavily.

“Prim, help me over here!” their mother’s urgent tone took Prim out of her stupor and she ran to help her mom. So far, Katniss couldn’t see any gravely injured miners ; they were all covered in soot and most of them were coughing. She turned around and saw Gale looking at her. She hugged him tightly

“I couldn’t see Peeta, I’m sorry Catnip,” he whispered in her ear and Katniss closed her eyes but the tears were falling. Another explosion made them break apart at the same time a cage arrived.

She spotted Peeta’s hair easily and the relief made her knees buckle. He was helping Rory, who was limping, a dark bloody stain covering his knee. Peeta helped him sit and then put his hands on his knees breathing deeply. She couldn’t take her eyes off of him, of his back moving with each breath. He was okay, he looked whole, he was covered in soot but nothing looked broken or burned. She cried his name and he looked up with surprise in his face but closed the distance quickly to hug her.

It was only then, when he was safely in her arms, that Katniss allowed herself to really understand the magnitude of the event.

“Damn you, Peeta,” she mumbled and he swallowed tightly.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered in her ear and Katniss shook her head. The Peacekeepers were now shouting to the crowd to move from the place and when they reached the entrance Katniss spotted Bran and Delly running toward them.

“I’ll check on Rory,” she whispered and Peeta nodded but stopped her when she turned around. “Would you stay with me tonight?” he asked in a small voice and Katniss smiled.

“Of course, I’ll be right back,” she said and nodded at Bran and Delly, who were now hugging Peeta.

Prim was waiting for someone to carry Rory to their house so they could work on his leg. His head was resting on her lap and she was running her hand through his hair; he had his eyes closed, his brow knitted in pain and his hands were holding Prim’s other hand tightly. Katniss tried not to look at his leg. “I’ll ask Bran if he can help him,” Katniss said and Prim nodded with tears in her eyes but smiled weakly when Katniss told her she would stay with Peeta. She kissed Prim’s cheek and walked quickly to ask for Bran’s help.

“I’ll go too,” Peeta said but Bran rolled his eyes and shook his head.

“Katniss, please take him home,” Bran said and took Delly’s hand. Both made their way to the place Prim and Rory were waiting. Katniss took her eyes from her sister and looked at Peeta.

She extended her hand and Peeta took it firmly. He led her to his house by the hand in silence, the events of the night still too recent to understand.

“Peeta!” Sam opened the door before Peeta could open it and hugged him tightly. Peeta had one of his arms around his brother while the other one still held Katniss’s hand. “You’re okay, you’re okay you stupid little muffin!”

Peeta laughed over his tears and Katniss let go of his hand so he could hug his brother with both arms, but Sam with his huge arm brought Katniss’s little frame to the hug and the three of them stood there embracing and crying. Katniss lifted her eyes at the sound of creaking wood and saw Mrs. Mellark standing over the stair’s last step.

She looked like she had been crying, her nose and eyes swollen and red. Sam and Katniss stepped aside but Peeta didn’t move. He waited for Mrs. Mellark to come to him and when she did she put a shaky hand on his cheek and looked at Peeta sadly. Mrs. Mellark looked at Katniss and dropped her hand at her side but then her eyes went back to Peeta.

“You’re your father’s son,” she said and with that she turned around and climbed the stairs slowly, like she was in a daze. Peeta turned around to looked at Sam and Katniss with a surprised expression.

“That’s the best I could hope for,” Peeta said somberly and Sam shook his head.

“She’s not okay, Peet,” Sam whispered and Peeta frowned, pursing his lips angrily. His eyes fell on Katniss, who was looking at him sadly and he shook his head.

“I need to change,” Peeta said and extended his hand toward Katniss.

“I warmed the water so you can shower, “ Sam said and Peeta nodded, tugging Katniss’s hand. She followed him quickly to his father’s office that now was officially his room. He had put the desk against the window and moved the aprons to the storage room near the kitchen so he could put his clothes in the closet.

He lit the lamp and a soft glow illuminated the room.

“I’m going to take a really quick shower and I’ll be back,” he said to Katniss and she nodded but reached to him, putting her hand on his cheek. She kissed him softly on the lips with a small smile.

“You taste like soot,” she whispered and Peeta chuckled. He kissed her forehead one last time and took a step toward the closet. He took off his shirt and undershirt and Katniss looked at his broad back covered in soot, still marked with the tracks his sweat had left. He picked a couple of items and left the room again, smiling softly at Katniss.

She sat on the mattress, looking around the room. Peeta had made a few drawings of the woods and she smiled when she saw a drawing of a girl with a braid walking toward the Mayor’s house.

“Here’s some warm water if you want to wash your face,” Sam said said with a warm smile after a soft knock on the door. She had kissed Peeta, she had hugged him and he was covered in soot.

“Thanks Sam,” she said taking the warm pot from his hands. The door closed softly behind him and Katniss put the basin on the desk, where there was a small mirror with a razor and a towel. Her forehead, lips, and cheeks were stained with soot so she cleaned her face and hands. Peeta opened the door and entered the room quickly.

He was only wearing light blue boxer shorts so Katniss had the chance to look at his chest and legs. He looked strong, his chest broad. The area under his navel was barely dusted with fine fair hairs. He walked sheepishly to the mattress and took a pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt and put them on quickly.

“Wait,” Katniss said and Peeta stopped with his arms still in the air, the t-shirt in his hands. “You have a bit of soot...” she said and pointed at the back of his neck. Peeta dropped the t-shirt and sat on the mattress laying on the floor. Katniss kneeled on the floor and soaked the towel with the warm water and pressed it between his shoulder blades and the back of his neck gently. He shivered when she rested her hand over his shoulder and ran her thumb slowly across his skin.

He had a dusting of freckles on his shoulder blades and some lost moles all over his back. When Katniss finished the cleaning she traced the moles with her fingers, drawing invisible figures on his back.She sighed and rested her forehead on the back of his neck, feeling his warm skin and his soft breathing; her arms hugged him from behind and he took her hands to put them over his chest. He was breathing, he had escaped an underground hell and he was here with her. The thought of him going back to the mines formed a lump in her throat, but the thought of Peeta Mellark never leaving the mines made her choke back a sob.

“Hey,” he said, turning around to hug her. Katniss covered her face with her hands and shook her head, because now she was making choking noises, the tears running freely. “I’m okay now,” he whispered, taking her hands. He smiled crookedly at her and she buried her face in his shoulder.

“You shouldn’t have been there, Peeta,” Katniss sobbed into his shoulder and Peeta sighed. He ran his hands across her back in soothing circles.

“I can’t be in the Bakery without my dad, it hurts too much,” Peeta whispered after a long silence with his voice full of sorrow. Katniss’s eyes filled with tears again as she took her head from his shoulder and framed his face with her hands.

“I get it, I know what it feels like. When I lost my dad I felt like something within me died. Sometimes I wake up screaming to him to run, trust me I know the feeling. But Peeta, you get to choose and he didn’t,” her lips were trembling and she was shaking. She rested her forehead against his when Peeta’s jaw trembled and some angry tears fell from his blue eyes.

“It’s so hard Katniss,” he whispered and she nodded.

“I know, I know, but Peeta, you get to choose and if the bakery is not an option then I’ll talk with Madge, with Mr.Abernathy, or with the Mayor himself or I’ll go back to the woods, but please don’t go back to the mines,” she was desperate for him to understand.

“Kat...” he whispered but she shook her head frantically.

“Please don’t go back to the mines, please Peeta, do it for me, please, please...” It was her last card but she never thought Peeta would listen to her like Sam had said.

“Shh... Katniss, it’s okay, I won’t go back,” he said kissing her on her cheek, her forehead. She hugged him once more, her arms tight across his back and her face buried in his neck.

“Promise me, please,“ she said between sobs and Peeta nodded.

“I promise you I won’t go back,” he said and Katniss nodded still breathing heavily, her hands holding Peeta for dear life. They sat there for what felt like hours and it was only natural for them to lay down, Peeta on his back holding Katniss securely against him with his arm while her head rested on his chest. Their hands were linked over his stomach.

“Did you have trouble with the nine’s multiplication table?” Katniss asked remembering the last time she had seen her dad. She heard the chuckle in Peeta’s chest and smiled.

“Not really, why?” he asked. She felt his fingers going back and forth over her arm and Katniss snuggled closer to him.

“The last time I spoke to my dad I asked him what nine times seven was,” she answered and Peeta kissed the top of her head.

“I’m sorry that was the last thing you to said to him,” he said and Katniss shrugged with a sigh.

“I regret I didn’t say that I loved him, but I didn’t know the mines were going to explode,” she mumbled and Peeta breathed heavily. “It was like that day all over again,” she whispered closing her eyes. Peeta’s heart began to beat faster and Katniss lifted her head from his chest. He was looking at her with his brow knitted and he looked confused.

“I never thought --” he mumbled only this phrase and looked at the ceiling again so Katniss leaned up a bit to look at him. His eyes, glassy and sad, met hers again briefly before looking at the ceiling again. “I never thought you would care so much,” he whispered, like he wasn’t allowed to say those words.

“Why would you think that?” she asked him still looking intently at him but his eyes looked at the ceiling and nowhere else. “Peeta,” she whispered and this time he looked at her as if the sound of her voice saying his name had awakened him, like she had some kind of effect on him she didn’t know she had. He swallowed and turned on his side so now he was face to face with Katniss, their noses almost touching.

“I always felt no one would care if I’m gone, no one really needs me,” he whispered but there was no self-pity in his voice. Katniss frowned and her breath got caught in her throat because she was sure that if someone said those things like it was the most natural thing in the world it was because of years of cold remarks and hurtful comments. She remembered Mrs. Mellark’s words at the bakery and everything clicked.

“What about me? What if I need you?” Katniss asked. Peeta lowered his eyes and sighed but Katniss kissed him gently on his lips. He smelled like soap but there was still a trace of something smokey that reminded her about the chaos in the District. About the possibility of not seeing him again. She clinged to him and kissed him deeply, a new hunger new within her that she only associates with Peeta. It felt like fire every time his hand touched the skin on the small of her back or when his tongue met hers or when his breath tickled her neck while she rested her hands on his strong shoulders , his skin warm under her touch.

He rolled over her and smiled when she scowled at him for breaking the kiss. He kissed the frown away and hugged her, hiding his face in her neck, resting his upper body over hers. She was still running her hands on his bare skin, kissing his shoulder softly. He shivered and she smiled at his gooseflesh.

“Cold?” she asked him and he chuckled.

“Quite the opposite actually and you’re not doing me any favors,” he said looking at her, his eyes still a bit rimmed red from holding his tears but at least they didn’t look so sad anymore. Katniss felt her cheeks redden when she felt him pressed against her and yes, she knew how the male anatomy worked but the thought of Peeta getting hard for her sent a thrill down her spine. She smiled at him. “Umm, do you want to take off your sweater?” he asked, probably noticing the blush on her cheeks. She nodded softly and Peeta helped her to take it off.

“I think I’m going to need something to sleep with,” she whispered when Peeta put the sweater aside. He stood up and gave her a long sleeve shirt and shorts and before he could leave, she stood up boldly and took off her pants. Peeta swallowed heavily but he got closer to hand her the clothes. He helped her with her own shirt and then Katniss put on the one Peeta was giving her, looking at him shyly. He buttoned it for her and then kissed her again, throwing the shorts over his shoulder. Katniss laughed and Peeta hugged her closely to him.

His steady heart lulled her to sleep.

***

 

The month before the announcement she had been in a bubble. After the accident in the mines Peeta returned to the bakery and even if Katniss thought Mrs. Mellark coldness could have melted a bit with the prospect of losing her son, Katniss was sorely mistaken.

“Peeta is in the back, working,” she told her nastily before Katniss could utter a word. Mrs. Mellark had the Mayor’s order ready so Katniss put the coins over the counter.

“Goodbye Mrs. Mellark,” she said raising her voice. She left the shop and smiled when she heard a soft whistle. She turned around and found Peeta looking at her with a smile waving at her to go to the back of the bakery. Katniss looked around and walked quickly to the door where Peeta was waiting for her. The second she was within his reach, he pressed her against the wall, kissing her hungrily. The bag fell on the floor when Katniss reached to throw her arms around his neck.

“You look good in an apron,” he said breathlessly when the air was not enough. His hands were around her waist, tugging the strings of her apron under her coat.

“This old thing?,” she said, kissing his cheek. Mimi had insisted that Katniss should wear the blue apron during the work hours in the Mayor’s house.

She rested her head on his shoulder with a sigh but the rest was short. The creak of the back door, the squeal of the pig and Sam’s voice.

“Peeta, the buns. Bring your buns to check the buns in the oven,” Peeta shook his head with a roll of his eyes when Katniss grinned.

“I should go,” he said and kissed her one last time.

“Yeah, me too,” she said and took the bag from the floor. He stopped her when they reached the back door.

“I’ll see you later,” he said and kissed her. Katniss walked quickly to Madge’s house but when she got there she couldn’t look at Mimi in the eyes. She was looking at Katniss with a knowing look.

“Well, at least one of us was having a good time,”  Mimi said and Katniss frowned at her.

“Please don’t rub it in my face that you were having a good time dusting the cabinets,” she said but Mimi just smirked.

“Just because I want to spread the fun, now you can peel the potatoes, the sweet potatoes and the onions, and don’t you dare cry,” Mimi said handing her the peeler and Katniss took it without saying a word but she couldn’t help to smile at Mimi smirking at her.

It was the first time she felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. That’s what Peeta did to her, he made her feel lighter with his good mood and his goofy bread jokes or the way his presence could put her at ease. She felt like it was always going to happen, like she knew deep down that it would take time for them to find each other again after that rainy day all those years ago, but the wait was worth it .

Prim and her mother noticed the difference in her but when Katniss asked them exactly what was so different about her, they just giggled and shrugged. Katniss scowled at them and tried to let the matter rest, but her mother wasn’t thinking the same. She was with Prim waiting for her in the Square.

“What are you doing here?” Katniss asked when she was on her way to the bakery on Monday.

“I want to know Peeta,” she said and Katniss stopped in her tracks. Prim grinned.

“Why?” she asked, narrowing her eyes. Mrs. Everdeen just smiled and took Katniss’s elbow, linking their arms, dragging her with them.

“Because I want to know the young man that has my daughter with puppy eyes,” she said with soft smile.

“I don’t have puppy eyes,” she whispered grumpily.

“Primrose said so,” Mrs. Everdeen shrugged. Prim smiled and Katniss rolled her eyes.

“Maybe Primrose should mind her own business,” Katniss said looking at her sister with narrowed eyes.

“You think you can fool us,” Prim sighed, shaking her head

Katniss was about to answer her when the bakery’s back door opened and Peeta stepped outside to dump the trash. He spotted them and his ears turned crimson. The introductions were a bit awkward but Prim lightened the mood and Peeta still managed to be charming while Katniss looked at the floor with a blush that just didn’t go away.

“Well, we should go, it was nice to finally meet you Peeta, you can come to dinner any time you want to,” Mrs. Everdeen said and Peeta nodded with a smile and a nod. Prim and Mrs. Everdeen left them with big smiles.  

“I’m sorry about that,” Katniss mumbled. Peeta took her behind the bakery when they usually kiss.

“Why?” he asked, his breath hot on her neck. Katniss whimpered and moved even closer to him. He kissed her neck slowly and Katniss bit her lower lip to fight a moan. 

“Why what?” she asked in a haze.

“Why did you say you were sorry?” he asked, stopping his trail of kisses and held her hands. Katniss huffed and frowned.

“Now she wants to act like she’s worried about me?” she mumbled and Peeta kissed her to stop her.

“It’s fine by me, but are you okay with it?” he asked hesitantly. Katniss looked at him with a small smile on her face.

“Yeah, I’m okay with it,” she said and this time she closed the distance between them quickly but Peeta kissed her forehead instead, looking nervous.

“Hey, if you ever want to talk, you know? About your mom or whatever, the weather or what ... Buttercup? Or Lady, you know, I’m all ears for you, umm --“ he gestured with his hand avoiding her eyes but Katniss stopped him with a gentle hand over his flushed cheek.

“Thank you Peeta,” she whispered and Peeta put his hand over hers with a small smile.

“Yeah, okay,” he smiled and let her go.

The days got longer and the air warmer and even if she knew the Reaping was coming, she chose not to worry. This would be Prim’s last Reaping and then she would be free and Katniss would accomplish what she always fought for; Prim’s wellbeing.

But even if the sun shone in the sky brightly and Peeta’s kisses turned her to jelly, the voice of President Snow put a damper on her brief happiness. She should have known, she had let her guard fall, but how was it possible to know the magnitude of the events that would change her life forever? The odds were not in her favor but she just didn’t know it yet.

_“Dear Panem! I salute you and I especially salute our Victors.”  The screen showed a crowd clapping loudly and cheering at their President, who kept talking to all of Panem about the Dark Days, the punishment for the war, the elimination of District Thirteen and finally, the Quarter Quell. Until a kid with a wooden box walked in._

_“On the fiftieth anniversary, as a reminder that two rebels died for each Capitol citizen, every district was required to send twice as many tributes. And now we honor our third Quarter Quell” he said and a little boy dressed in white extended the box with envelopes “On the seventy-fifth anniversary, as a reminder to the rebels that even the strongest among them cannot overcome the power of the Capitol, the male and female tributes will be reaped from their existing pool of victors. If there’s a lack of a Victor, the tribute will be reaped from the eligible people, without a top age.”_

Static and lights out.

 

The next couple of days before the Reaping, Katniss made sure to stay busy to keep her mind off it but Effie Trinket’s voice was usually in her nightmares saying Prim’s name. While her sister climbed the stairs she shouted to volunteer but she had no voice.

Peeta knew of scared she was and he was cautious with his words. But she enjoyed being with him. The day before the Reaping, she barely said a couple of words. She was sick with worry and Peeta could tell.

Katniss stayed with him while he fed the pig under the scorching sun.

“Katniss, wait,” he said when she stood up to leave.

She turned around and suddenly he was there, hugging her, his big hands on the small of her back and between her shoulder blades. She realized her arms were hanging at her sides and Peeta was stepping away from her, maybe thinking that his hug was not welcome so she hurried to hug him closer to her. She felt his strong back under her hands, his scent of cinnamon and dill, the soft cotton of his t-shirt and she closed her eyes, feeling for a few seconds that she was in the safest place on Earth, there in Peeta’s arms.

They were about to break the hug and the same sense of dread filled her again.

But when Peeta rested his cheek against her temple briefly and kissed it softly, she felt something like hope within her.

 

On Reaping Day all the District 12 women were gathered in the main Square with their best clothes on. They were divided by age so Katniss was next to Delly and Madge and several rows behind them, their mothers. To Katniss’ surprise, they were chatting in low voices, their faces worried but still, they looked like they were old friends. Maybe they were, before a coal miner had appear in the apothecary's daughter’s life.

Mrs. Mellark was with other Merchants ladies, but today fear could be seen in all of their faces. The ones that thought they were done with the reapings, the ones that thought their children were done with the reapings.Katniss barely heard when Haymitch Abernathy’s name was called. Peeta was looking at her and she was looking him back.

He looked scared, his hands were clenched and his jaw was set. It was only when Effie announced the women’s turn that Katniss lowered her eyes to the ground, hoping the it wasn’t her, it wasn’t Prim...

“Madge Undersee,”

A collective gasp filled the Square and Katniss felt Madge next to her shift on her feet before going to the stage.

“No,” the Mayor stood up and the back of his chair hit the stage loudly but Effie Trinket looked at him with an amazed expression and he sat down again, shaking madly.

Katniss looked at her friend, her one and only friend, and squeezed her hand when their eyes met. A piercing scream made Katniss look back and she saw her mother with Madge’s mother. Mrs. Undersee was crouched down covering her ears with her hands while the women around her tried to support her.

“It’s okay,” Madge whispered with a nod and Katniss saw through blurry eyes how her friend stood bravely on the stage until the ceremony ended.

Peeta was already there and without a thought she took his hand and went to say goodbye to Madge.

Only in the waiting room to greet the tributes Katniss fell against Peeta’s chest while Delly paced the room like a caged animal. Katniss let go of him when the door opened and the Mayor and his wife left the room crying.

The three of them found Madge looking through the window with a calm that made Katniss want to puke. She had already given up.

“I’m glad you’re here,” she said in a small voice. Delly hugged her tightly and whispered something in her ear but Madge just smiled and then she hugged Peeta.

“I’m so sorry Madge,” he said with a choked voice and took out of his pocket a brown bag of cookies. “It’s not much...”

“It’s perfect,” she said and placed her hand on his cheek briefly.

She looked at Katniss and they hugged before Katniss’ tears reached the floor.

“I should have ask you how to use a bow,” she said and Katniss’ lip trembled.

“Madge,” she said in a hoarse voice. Madge grabbed her by her shoulders and looked at her. She was so serene and peaceful that Katniss wanted to shake her and tell her to fight, to come back, but it was useless.

“I consider myself very lucky, you are my friends and that’s all I ever wanted, to be around people like you,” she said with such resignation on her voice that Delly choked back a sob and Peeta’s lip trembled furiously. She turned to Katniss and held her hands.

“Thanks for sharing lunch with me,” Madge whispered.

“Thank you.” Katniss whispered back, her throat knotted painfully with tears.

A knock on the door made them say goodbye again with hurried hugs.

 And Katniss looked at her best friend for the last time, because Madge Undersee died with a knife stuck in her jugular in the Arena of the 75th Hunger Games.

Haymitch Abernathy, the distant drunk, the man that didn’t even care about himself, held her hand while the life slipped off her eyes, telling her softly how brave she was and how bravery must run in her family. To everyone’s surprise they were a good team. Their stylist made them shine with synthetic fire and Panem paid attention to them. Their interviews were enigmatic and aloof and Panem craved for them, for another minute from the former Quell Victor and the privileged girl that said that she wasn’t scared.

 The were Careers now; Finnick Odair and his trident, Johanna Mason and her axe, and Beetee and his cleverness were their allies. But there was another band of Careers and Cashmere had a wickedly accurate aim. The knife reached Madge in the blink of an eye but Haymitch choked the brutal Career to death while Finnick fought with Gloss and Johanna decapitated Brutus.

But Katniss saw nothing of this. The minute Madge fell to the sand in the tropical Arena, she ran in panic toward the Bakery. She couldn’t see if Peacekeepers tried to stop her, she just knew that she needed to find Peeta. She knocked on the Bakery back door frantically and Peeta took her hand without asking. He wasn’t surprised when she lead him to the woods. He never mentioned that they might get in trouble, he didn’t even mentioned the whipping months ago. They walked and walked and walked and only stopped when Katniss spotted the lake, panting and sweating under the heat.

“Do you know how to swim?” she asked and Peeta shook his head. “I’ll teach you,” she said.

And now she was in her underwear and a tank top, the scars on her back still healing, stretching under the scorching sun. She dove in the lake and when her head was under the water she yelled so loud that her throat burned but it was the only thing that keep her sane at the moment, her anger could only leave her in underwater bubbles.

She emerged panting and rubbing her eyes. She stayed like that until her heart stop hammering in her chest and her eyes were mostly dry. She turned around and saw Peeta standing at the shore. He was in his underwear, standing nervously with his hands folded in front of him with the water reaching his knees and an expectant look on his face.

“Are you going to stay there?” she asked with a smile and Peeta smiled back nervously.

“I’ve never seen so much water before,” he said with a chuckle. He walked slowly, like the soles of his feet were testing the muddy floor.

Katniss swam towards him and looked at the broadness of his chest. Even if she had seen him once it was in the dim light but now, with the sun shining over his shoulders she could even could see the goosebumps on his arms. She blushed when he caught her staring at him.

“So, how’s this swimming business?” he asked when she was near him. She stayed under the water and extended her hand for him to take.

“Oh shit,” he said when the rest of his body touched the water.

“Now the head,” she said with a laugh and Peeta took a mouthful of air and sank in the water.

He reemerged shaking his head, sending droplets of water everywhere.

“That was cold,” he said shivering with a boyish smile that made Katniss lick her lips.

“Okay, now we float,” She taught him how to float and to do a few strokes. He was a fast learner, eager to do what she told him to do and willing to ask for help when he couldn’t get something right.

“It’s not that hard,” he said floating and holding Katniss’s hand. She didn’t want to let go of him on the deep part. She didn’t want to let go of him. “And the water is really nice, I can’t believe we have something so...” he said in amazement, looking for words.

“Clean,” she finished for him with a sad smile and he nodded. She lead him to a huge fallen branch from an ancient looking tree that was near the middle of the lake and he followed her easily.

“Come here,” he said and opened his arms to her. She hugged him, resting her chin on his shoulder and felt his arms engulf her. His skin was warm and smelled like cinnamon. She touched the freckles that spreaded on his shoulders and he hummed contentedly. How was it possible to fit so well against his body?

He moved the hair from her shoulder and kissed her softly from there to her ear, leaving a trail of goosebumps on her skin. She moved her head and he brushed his lips softly against hers.

“Thanks for teaching me how to swim, too bad I can’t practice in the shower,” he mumbled kissing her neck. His warm breath against her damp skin made her sigh and she tilted her neck to gave him more access.

“Anytime,” she whispered, her eyes closed because all she could feel now was Peeta’s lips on her neck, her cheeks, the shell of her ear, his hands on her side, his thumbs brushing against the side of her breasts.

She shifted her position so she was now straddling his lap and with his intake of breath she felt the tension rise between them. She framed his face with her hands and her thumbs brushed his stubble. He was watching her intently , waiting for her to proceed or stop. She leaned in, barely brushing her lips against his and she whispered his name when she felt him hard against her. The need she felt for him was almost unbearable.

She looped her arms around his neck, bringing his mouth to hers. He took her lower lip between his at the same time he pushed her even closer to him, their chests panting. The tease on her center sent shivers down her spine so she rotated her hips against his, feeling the frantic need to being closer. They kissed hungrily and possessively, fueled by the solitude the lake provided, the knowledge that there was no time but theirs, there was no place to be, no danger of Peeta’s mom lurking in the corner. Just them, in the middle of a lost lake where the only thing they needed was each other. Katniss felt like there was a fire within her that only Peeta could put out but the thing was she only wanted this fire to grow until they were both consumed --

They were snapped out of the kiss when they heard a booming sound in the distance.

“What was that?” Katniss asked and Peeta frowned, both still in a lustful haze.

A flock of birds crossed the sky and Katniss knew something was wrong, animals were wise and knew when was the time to hide. Another loud sound echoed through the woods and she saw three deers running in the opposite direction from Town.

Katniss untangled from Peeta and took his hand to swim towards the shore.

“What...?” his words were covered with the sound of three hovercrafts that ploughed through the sky. They heard the booming sound in the distance and this time not only deers, but also wild dogs, lynxes, and bears were running in the same direction that the first three deers had taken.

And then there was an stillness that somehow scared her more that the noise.

“Is that...?” Peeta asked that this time there was no mistake. A high pitched sound could be heard in the distance and then the earth shook a bit sending dense columns of dark smoke.

They dressed quickly and Katniss cursed at the fact that even if they ran, they would have at least an hour and a half hike toward Town, so she took Peeta’s hand and lead him through the woods, stopping every once in awhile when they heard animals on their paths. The bombing sounds from Town could still be heard and Katniss felt bile rising at the thought of Prim getting caught by one.

When they reached the the last stretch of the woods Katniss took her bow and arrows and hung it over her shoulder. She gave Peeta a knife and he took it with a somber expression, like he was holding evil itself on his hands. He took a shaky breath and looked at her.

“Let’s go,” she said but stopped immediately when they heard voices she recognized.

“Vick?” she called and she saw him but he wasn’t alone. Many families from the Seam were walking towards them and Katniss almost passed out from relief when she saw Prim holding Posy by the hand.

“What happened?” Katniss asked to her mother. She looked around and she recognized more people; Greasy Sae with her daughters and grandchildren, her neighbour Bristel, Thom, Gale’s crewmate with his sister and many more families from the Seam.

“The Tributes scaped,” Prim explained, relief on her features because her sister was alive. “A couple of hours after Madge was killed, Finnick threw his trident and Johanna her axe to some kind of force field and everything exploded, we only could see hovercrafts and then the connection was lost.”

“How did you get out?” Peeta asked, paler than usual.

“The missiles reached the Merchant side,” Mrs Everdeen said and Peeta stood still, his face blank. He gave a step back, swallowing heavily.  

“I have to go,” he said and launched himself toward town but Katniss grabbed his hand. It was almost laughable how easy it was for him to drag her.

“No, you can’t go,” she said, trying to stop him by holding him but not even with her two hands on his arms she could stop him “Peeta, please, listen to me,”

“Katniss, they could be hurt,” he said, still dragging her. She changed tactics and stood in front of him but he kept walking so she planted her feet and put her arms around his chest and stood firmly on the floor, her head against his chest. His heart was beating almost as fast as hers.

“Peeta, it’s dangerous, please,” she said with tears in her eyes. He stopped and looked at her. His eyes were mad and sad and Katniss thought what she would do if the same thing was happening to her family.

“Please move, Katniss,” he said desperately but she stayed there.

“I’m coming with you, then,” she said and he sighed shaking his head.

“No, stay here,” he said with gritted teeth.

“I’m coming with you, c’mon, we’re wasting time,” she said and this time he sighed, knowing that any resistance was futile. They walked faster through the woods, still finding what it look like the last people from the Seam on their way. They were all the miners and Gale was the last one.

“Katniss! Go back to the woods, both of you.” Gale was running toward them but Katniss shook her head. He took her by the shoulders searching for any damage.

“Take her with you, I’m going to town,” Peeta said coldly but Gale, just like Katniss, stood in front of him.

“Peeta, it’s all gone,” he said in a low voice but Peeta just pushed past him and ran faster.

Katniss looked at Gale briefly and ran behind Peeta. They didn’t hear Gale warning that another attack was coming.

When they reached the Merchant side of the District the sun was almost down but the air was hot and full of dirt from the destruction caused by the fire, because there was fire everywhere. The Mayor’s house was a big pile of debris with smoke and fire. All the Merchant shops around the main Square were destroyed, the windows smashed, the walls that once held the houses were now on the floor like they were made of paper and a soft breeze had knocked them down.

And what made Katniss’ stomach turn painfully, there were burnt bodies everywhere. Laying on the streets, under the piles of debris, on the steps of the Justice Building.

They stood there, watching how the Town they had known a few hours ago was gone.

“No, no, no,” Peeta said when he saw the Bakery his hands over his head, fisting his hair. Or at least what it used to be the bakery.

There was a burned body on the front door and Katniss recognized Peeta’s brother by his head, because the rest of the body was like raw meat, with the clothes plastered on his body.

“Sam...” Peeta said walking toward the bakery and his brother looked at him with pleading eyes but it was too late. An explosion, probably from the ovens, threw them several feet away. They couldn’t even stand up because a bomb fell on the Undersee house again and Katniss felt Peeta hovering over her to protect her.

“We have to go back,” Katniss said, looking at Peeta’s sweating face, the vein on his forehead pooping out from the effort. He nodded and tried to stand up but yelled in pain when he was on his feet. Katniss saw a metal pole with blood from what it used to be a sign of the Grocery store.

“What happened?” Katniss asked and then she saw an alarming amount of blood pouring from a deep gash on the back of his lower leg.

“Go,” he said and stood there, wobbling on his feet, his pale face covered with dirt and sweat.

“Are you mad?” she yelled angrily and gave him her quiver and bow to take while she put his arm under her shoulders.

It was a painfully slow trip towards the woods with the hot wind plastering their clothes to their bodies, the smell of smoke and...Katniss shook her and the bile rose in her stomach. It was only when they reached the first trees that Katniss yelled for help.

“Thanks for not letting my die, I owe you one,” he said through gritted teeth with pain, eyes closing. Katniss nodded and suddenly the idea of not having Peeta made her want to cry.

“You’re not going to die. Help, help!!” she yelled again and this time, Gale appeared from the woods with Thom and some other miners that ran toward them and took an almost unconscious Peeta.

Katniss took the bow and the quiver that Peeta had dropped and followed them. She tried to ignore the trail of blood Peeta was leaving, but first she bent down and threw up all the contents of her stomach. She put her hands on her knees and took deep breaths trying to understand what on earth was happening. Was she really kissing Peeta a few hours ago?

“Katniss, what the hell?!” Prim’s shocked voice reached her ears and she saw her sister’s face over her, holding her by the shoulders, shaking her furiously. “You can’t leave just like that, don’t ever do that again,” she said, with her tears in her eyes.

“I’m sorry Prim, Peeta...” she said, but was cut by a bone crushing hug from her sister.

“I’ll check on him,” Prim said letting go of her and ran toward Peeta. He was pale and his wound was bleeding like a faucet.

“Ka’niss?” he asked groggily and tried to stood up but Prim pushed him gently on the floor again. Mrs Everdeen gave him something from a small cup that made him cough and gag.

“She’s okay,” Prim said to Peeta. Katniss crouched down next to him and took his hand. He smiled weakly at her.

“Hi. I held your bow, it was awesome,” he said sleepily and Katniss smiled, pushing his sweaty hair out of his forehead.

“Yes you did,” she said with a small laugh but then the tears fell. He looked at her with a glint that knotted Katniss’ throat and then he closed his eyes.

Prim asked for space and Katniss stood up to check on the Hawthorne family but on the way she saw Delly and her brother sitting on a log. He was curled on her lap while she stroked his golden locks.

“Delly,” Katniss said and Delly looked at her with a trembling lip. “I’m sorry,”

“Everything is gone, the shop, my parents, my friends, Bran...” she said and Katniss sat next to her, patting her shoulder awkwardly.

“I’m sorry Delly. Peeta is okay, Prim is fixing his leg,” she said and Delly’s eyes brightened  a bit.

Prim and her mom were able to stop Peeta’s blood but according to her mom he was still very weak. He also had deep cuts on his back from the explosion. She sat next to him and grabbed his hand, squeezing it softly every few seconds.

Gale was looking at her with a frown but she ignored him. She just looked at Peeta, hoping for him to be okay. She didn’t want to think about how they were going to survive in the woods, if the Capitol would attack them again. She just wanted Peeta again, next to her, safe and sound.

She closed her eyes and leaned her head on their joined hands for a long time. She was falling asleep when the sound of two hovercrafts woke her with a start.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! Life, you know?  
> Thanks a million to Gentlemama and Hanginghope for their help and suggestions, they're seriously the best. Any mistake is mine, trust me.
> 
> The title of this chapter it's from the Arcade Fire song It's never over (Oh Orpheus).
> 
> I'm on tumblr, annthetropicalfish, so feel free to come and say hi :)


	5. There Was The Chaos Of Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He just wanted this madness to stop.

 

 

 

“Mellark! Mellark!” Peeta heard his name and walked toward the doctor waiting for him. Everything was white. The doctor’s robes, the walls, the lights, the bandage on his leg. Peeta got into a small clinic where three doctors were waiting for him.

“Take off your clothes, soldier.” A woman with a large face told him over her reading glasses.

He was a soldier now. They were the refugees for exactly two hours and twenty five minutes, which was the time of flight between Districts 12 and 13.

He was unconscious thanks to that horrible thing Mrs. Everdeen gave him when he made it with Katniss from Town. He woke up in a hospital bed with his leg covered in bandages but from a nurse’s words he was all right, ready to be checked in for the Army. She didn’t stay long to hear his questions about Katniss or anyone else.

So now he stood in his underwear, with three strangers looking at him like he was from another planet.

“All of your clothes,” the woman said and Peeta took off his boxers as well. He was not shy, he didn’t care about being stared at, but being measured, cupped and stared at was another thing. And to complete his humiliation they gave him a sterile little cup.

“I’m sorry, but what am I supposed to do with this?” he asked hoping that the anger in his voice could mask the fear he felt. The woman raised her eyebrow and a nurse lead him to a room that said ‘Transmitters’ and Peeta understood.

Forty minutes later they told him he was in ideal shape and his sperm count was ideal too. Then they shaved his hair and put a bracelet with the letter T on it. They ignored his questions about the District 12 citizens again.

“Your compartment is on the aisle M-14. Dinner will be served in a few minutes,so maybe you should go now to the common dining room,” a soldier told him and closed the examination unit door.

Peeta stood in the hallway, clad on his uniform and with the question of how to get there dancing on his lips. But an evacuation plan was perched every few meters so it was hard to get lost. Luckily he heard the sound of boots and voices coming his way.

He recognized some men from the Seam and he guessed the rest were from District 13, but they looked really young to be soldiers. The idea of sending fourteen year olds to war made Peeta’s stomach turn uncomfortably.

“Peeta?” Rory’s Hawthorne deep voice took him out of staring the line of men walking tiredly.

“Rory” Hi!,“ he said with relief when Rory approached him. His hair was cropped down too and just like Peeta his shoulders looked too big on his uniform.

“Katniss is okay,” he greeted him with a smile and a pat on the shoulder and Peeta  breathed with relief.

“Thanks man,” he said  walking with him. “What the hell is this?” he asked after a few minutes of pregnant silence.To his surprise Rory chuckled bitterly.

“Apparently District 13 existed, it has food and jobs that guarantee that you will make it alive,” he said with disgust and Peeta nodded, still trying to grasp everything that had happened in the last few hours.

“And medical care,“ Peeta said showing Rory the scar he had on his leg. He could vaguely recall an excruciating pain, like the bone was healing itself with fire during the night.

“Where’s Prim? or her mom? she might know where Katniss is,” Peeta asked Rory and he told him about the hospital. Peeta left without another word, feeling troubled at not knowing Katniss’s whereabouts. At least in 12 he knew that either she was at Madge’s house, the Hob or her house.

He walked back to the hospital as fast as his leg allowed him but panic rose within him when he heard heated voices around the corner.

“I can walk on my own, don’t touch me. Let go of me! ” Katniss’ voice echoed across the empty hallway. And then, the sound of a door being closed and a muffled grunt. Peeta reached the door and to his surprise he found Katniss and Haymitch Abernathy looking at each other with scowls on their faces.

“Katniss!” Peeta said in a breathy voice full of relief.

Katniss looked at him with surprise and relief plastered on her face. She walked toward him and threw her arms around his neck making them stumble a bit.

“You’re okay,” she said with a shaky breath and buried her face in his neck. Her clothes smelled like some kind of disinfectant but underneath it he could still smell the woods and the fresh earth on her. She had her hair in a tight braid and her uniform swam on her petite frame but she was okay. She is okay, Peeta told himself over and over again.

“Well,apparently the baker softened the huntress’ heart,” Haymitch’s amused voice made them break the hug and Katniss scowled at him. Nothing good came from that kind of scowl.

“Mr. Abernathy, it’s good to see you,” Peeta said with a nod and Haymitch chuckled.

“Always the charmer. It’s good to see you too, boy,” he said with a sad smile and nodded at them again before disappearing behind the hospital door.

Katniss dropped her forehead against his shoulder and  sighed.

“Are you okay?” he asked in a low voice and Katniss nodded.He took her shoulders to look at her.

“How’s your leg?” she asked, looking at him and he shrugged.

“It hurts a bit,but at least I can walk.” She nodded and put her hands on his forearms.

“They cut your hair,” she mumbled,looking at him seriously and he chuckled. “I was worried about you, you have stop worrying me, Peeta,” she said in a small voice and he kissed her forehead. Seeing Katniss again reminded him about everything they had lost and his throat closed painfully with tears.

“I’m okay now,” he whispered not really trusting his voice.

“We should go,” Katniss said in a low voice when voices started to approach from the other side of the hospital door.

“What are still doing here?” Haymitch’s voice reached their ears.They turned around and found him standing with Finnick Odair next to him but this Finnick didn’t resemble at all to that confident man that all Panem knew.

His copper hair looked like twigs and his shoulders were sagged in a posture that looked like he was carrying the weight of the world over his shoulders. Even his tall and muscular body looked kind of pathetic wearing a white hospital gown.

His eyes were unfocused but nodded at Peeta and Katniss. His eyes light up a bit when his eyes landed on Katniss.

“You’re the girl with the bread,” he whispered and Katniss nodded with a blush.

“We should go boy.” Haymitch pat Finnick’s shoulder and they walked away from them.

“One of the District 13 wanted to put me in jail because I tried to take some bread for Prim once but Finnick told them to leave me alone,” she said rolling her eyes and Peeta smiled “I hate this place,” Katniss mumbled looking how both Victors disappeared behind a big door. It was like a sad contest of who looked more miserable.

“I know what you mean,” he whispered and brought her to his side putting his arm over her shoulders. She leaned into him circling his waist and he kissed her temple.

“We should go, I think they’re about to turn off the lights,” Katniss said and they walked hand in hand to his assigned room.

“So, what you been up to in here?” Peeta asked, enjoying the warmth of Katniss’ hands on his. She shrugged and gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

“They did tests on all of us.” she told him and he shuddered slightly and Katniss nodded while she showed him a small bracelet with a red ‘C’ on it.

“And the ‘C’ is for...?” he asked and Katniss frowned.

“I’m a carrier for them, it means that I’m fertile and I should start popping out babies to increase the population,” she muttered angrily and Peeta frowned.

“Are they forcing you?” he asked worriedly and to his relief she shook her head.

“No, of course not, I mean, I never wanted children, some stupid nurse saying stupid things is not going to change that,” her words were angry and Peeta stopped her.

“Hey, easy,” he said and she huffed in annoyance.

“I hate that someone is always making the calls for us, first the Capitol sending children to the Hunger Games and now District 13 saying that I need to have kids,” she kicked the plinth and huffed again, now crossing her arms over her chest.

“Katniss listen to me, they don’t own you, you can do whatever you want,” he whispered, placing his hands on her shoulders but she refused to look at him.

“I know...it’s just. Forget it,” she said, frowning. Peeta sighed but the words died on his mouth when he heard a group of people coming their way  “We should go, your room is right around the corner,”

They walked in silence while conversations from the other District 13 citizens reached their ears. Katniss now seemed to be far away and he hated that. And to be honest with himself Katniss’ words on pregnancy had saddened him because if he let his imagination run free he could see a little girl that looked like Katniss and a little boy with his hair.

“So this is me,” he opened the door and Katniss shifted a bit on her feet, still looking upset.

Peeta opened his door and she was about to leave but he took her hand, pulled her inside his room and closed the door behind her, not even bothering to turn on the lights.

He took her face between his hands and kissed her for the first time since the bombing. Her lips quickly welcomed his, her arms sneaked around his shoulder and her hands found his hair as he pressed her back against the door. He heard how she hummed  when his tongue parted her lips and after that time lost its meaning, because he could only think about how good it felt to have Katniss pressed against him again.

But she broke the kiss and Peeta rested his forehead on hers.

She switched the light on and looked at him frowning a bit.

“What?” he asked with a smile but she just shook her head and hugged him. He hugged her closely and rested his chin on the top of her head.

“I should go,” she whispered, her breath warm thought the stiff fabric of his shirt.

_Stay.Stay.Stay.Stay_ .

He was desperate for this words to leave his mouth.

“Really?” was all he could muster. She looked at him and to his relief her eyes were calmer. He put some loose hairs behind her ear and tilted his head slightly with a bright smile. She was looking at him with a small smile on her lips.

“What?” she asked and Peeta shrugged.

“I get to do this,” he leaned and kissed her softly on the lips. She laughed against his lips and shook her head but he caught her in another hug longer that the previous.

“I should go,” she said again and this time she untangled from him with a sigh.

Peeta scratched the back of his neck and looked around.

“Well, I’m pretty sure I’m going to feel lonely in here,” he said casually and Katniss chuckled.

She opened the door and smiled at him.

“Nice try,” she laughed  and Peeta shrugged.

“I had to,” he said with a small smile. Katniss bit her lower lip and kissed him on the corner of his mouth.

“Keep trying,” she whispered and her cheeks reddened slightly.

“I will,” he whispered back and without another word she left his small room.

His grin lasted him until he fell asleep but a loud knock on the door awoke him early in the morning, erasing all trace of happiness.

“Mellark you’re late, I’m not your goddamned nanny,” Gale Hawthorne’s face was too close to Peeta’s and his voice was way too loud for his sleepy brain. “I saved your ass today, but you have ten minutes to go to the training center,” and with that Gale walked away.

Peeta shook his head. What was going on? The schedule they tattooed on his forearm a few minutes later answered him. He had lost his breakfast and he was supposed to be training.

Two hour later felt his head like a boiling pot, his leg was killing him and his arms were sore. It was too much exercise for an empty stomach and a sleepy body. He had seen Katniss jogging with a group of women and he had turned his head so many times to look at her that he had bumped into a 14 year old kid that looked at him with a murderous expression. His sergeant had yelled at him and made him stay to do more exercise under the scorching sun.

Luckily for him the temporary tattoo on his forearm said he was supposed to have lunch now. Good, because he was starving.

“So you were late today,” Katniss voice near his ear made him jump slightly. He turned around and Katniss was looking at him with a small smile on her lips.

“What is this place?” he whispered on her ear, leaning his body against hers.

“Welcome to District 13 I guess,” she said, shrugging. They both grabbed a tray and to Peeta surprise he found Delly and Greasy Sae behind the serving counter. Delly dropped her spoon and launched at Peeta, crying with relief.

“I..thought..you were dead..and then Katniss told me...the hospital and I couldn’t see you-” she sobbed on his shoulder and Peeta hugged her closer. The entire dining hall was looking at the, especially the District 13 citizens. By the look on their faces the displays of affection were kept to a minimum.

“I’m fine Dell,I’m okay,” he whispered and she let go of him drying her tears. Peeta smiled at her and she smiled tearfully at him. He swallowed his tears when he remembered Bran’s face under the rubble of the bakery “So, you’re here now?”  he asked her waving at the counter where Sae was serving Katniss. The old cook winked at him and he smiled at her.

“Yeah, they put me to help Sae, because they don’t need a shoemaker here,” she mumbled, tears on her eyes again. Peeta nodded and kissed her forehead “I should get back.”

Peeta noticed the line was too long for Sae alone so he joined Katniss and grabbed his tray.

They walked toward the table where they found Gale’s mom and siblings and Prim and Mrs. Everdeen. To his relief, Tim Cartwright was sitting next to  Gale’s sister talking with her. His blue eyes lighted up when he saw Peeta and stood up to hug him, burying his face on his chest.

Peeta ran his hands through Tim’s shoulder blades and ruffled his locks.

“Hey buddy,” he said and Tim let go a small sob that made Peeta choke back a few tears. They had lost everything. They only had each other. He hugged him, willing himself not to cry, because even if their entire life they had shared like a sibling bond, he now felt the responsibility to take care of the Cartwrights. He looked over the table and luckily all made the effort of not looking at them. Tim let go of him, wiping his tears with the back of his hands and smiled sadly at Peeta. He noticed Tim had an angry cut over his eyebrow.

“What happened to you?” he asked, tilting his face and this time Prim answered.

“Actually, that was what saved them, he fell on the stairs of his house and Delly took him home to stitch him up when the first bomb fell on Town,”

Peeta nodded and Tim sat down again next to Gale’s sister. Katniss was  looking at him and he sat next to her. She squeezed his hand and gave him a small smile.

To his relief the Hawthornes weren’t so hostile like Gale and they were much more open to start a conversation, even if it was about the peas in the stew or the clothes of the District.

As the days went by he found that having his meals with them felt good. He missed his family so much that the comfort of listening to Vick and Posy bicker, Rory rolling his eyes at them and Hazelle trying to put peace between them made him smile. It was weird because he felt the nostalgia of something that he never had, mainly because his mother had set a dark mood since he was a child. Tim and Delly had also blended into the family and Hazelle was like a mother hen that took so much care of them that Peeta felt relieved.

And then there was Katniss.

Peeta was conscious that he had idealized Katniss his entire life. Before officially knowing her, she was the girl that had caught his eyes when he was little and had become the star of every fantasy when he was teenager and adult. He made a picture of her, perfect on his mind. A perfect strong woman.

But reality had surprised him in a very pleasant way.

Sometimes she looked aloof and disinterested in everything but her own family but Peeta realized that it was her way of not letting people in so he was pretty pleased with himself, because Katniss was a constant on their new life in District 13, more than in District 12, where his mother always made him work double so he couldn’t see Katniss.

In District 13, they shared all of their meals together and she always was next to him, quietly smiling at him, but what he enjoyed the most about the time of the day was reflection time.

At first Katniss seemed hesitant about staying with Peeta during their time off before diner but after a few blushes some mumbled words and a bit of hesitation, Peeta suggested that she could spend that time with him. He figured that out when he realized she was stalling.

"Do you want to come in?" He asked in a rush with a blush and a small smile, scratching the back of his ear.  Katniss swallowed and wet her lips. He followed her eyes and she was looking at his lips. She blushed when her eyes found his.

"Sure," she whispered and he opened his door.

When the silence of his room enveloped them, they looked at each other with sheepish smiles. Peeta was the first to move,sneaking  his arms around her slim waist and she sighed into his neck, both of her arms around his shoulders.

He didn't know who started with the kiss, he didn't know when they had reach the small cot, but in that moment, all he knew was that Katniss Everdeen was under him, whimpering softly while he nibbled her neck softly. He was pretty sure that his cause of death would be those noises. Katniss sighed his name softly and he smiled against her skin.

“What?” she mumbled with hooded eyes.

“Nothing, I just really like being here with you.” he said, aware that she could feel how much he enjoyed it. She smiled, her grey eyes lighting up with his words.

“Even if we are in an underground prison?” she asked running a hand through his short hair and his cheek. He closed his eyes at her touch and nodded with a smile.Katniss liked to run her hands through his shaved hair.

"You and my not existing hair," he mumbled and Katniss chuckled "I mean it, my hair was my best asset," he joked and Katniss laughed

"What about your eyes?" She said and he smiled leaning his face against hers.

"You like my eyes," he said with a wink and Katniss rolled her eyes.

"They are okay, your eyelashes are really long too," she said trying to sound like it was not a big deal. He kissed her and she sighed against his lips.

"I think you're really pretty, generally speaking," he added and she laughed mockingly. "You suck at taking compliments,you know that, right?" he said and she rolled her eyes.

"Thanks?" She said and he hummed hesitantly, narrowing his eyes "Oh fine, yes, I'm radiant like the sun Peeta, is that okay?" she said and he hugged her tightly, hiding his face in her neck again.

"That's more like it," he sighed and Katniss chuckled running her hands through his lower back and neck.

Could he freeze this moment and live it forever, there in Katniss’s arms?

District 13 made sure to crush his idyllic thoughts with a gruesome regime of physical activity, nuclear history and an intense training in shooting, which Peeta absolutely hated. They didn’t have much time, but they used it well.

It was like they were living a parallel reality. While Finnick urged the districts to fight with him, the symbol of the rebellion, Peeta was learning every inch of Katniss’ body. She liked when he kissed her neck and run her hands over his chest. She liked his broad shoulders and he liked the look on her face after he made her come with his mouth and fingers. He was pretty sure that while District 13 citizens were raising their fists rebelliously, screaming for freedom, Peeta’s head was between Katniss’ legs and she was muffling her moans with his shirt.

So that was why, after almost four months of being in District 13 Katniss always sneaked in the night to sleep with him. but they were cautious; the last thing Katniss wanted was to get pregnant and the last thing District 13 wanted was to give them birth control.

That particular night Katniss was barely awake. She had arrived dragging her feet and nudged him a bit and Peeta on his slumber had moved, opening his arms to her and she had settled with her forehead against his chest.He rested his chin over her head tiredly.

“Everything okay?” he asked barely awake and he felt Katniss hummed a soft yes.

“I’m so tired, they killed us today at training,” she answered, her words a bit slurred. He nodded and hold her tighter. He kissed her forehead and she kissed his chest softly. Sleep engulfed them after this exchange. It felt good, like a nice habit, like something they would do for the rest of their lives, night after night.

If he knew that this was the last time he would be able to hold her like this, kiss her like this, he would have done other things, he would have said other words.

The news of an offense in District 2 put an end to their time together.

Early in the morning, with Katniss sleeping next to him with her arm over his stomach, the loud sirens awoke them. That could only mean something bad had happened.

“There was an attack, Finnick was in the middle of it, we have to go now,” Gale said when they reached him in the middle of the sea of people walking quickly to the hangar where the hovercrafts were.

What was happening? All he knew was that Finnick was shooting some propos in a District where things were calm but apparently something went wrong. Was he really going to war?

He turned around and Katniss hugged him tightly.

“Peeta,” she whispered in a thick voice and he could feel his tears coming. His sergeant told him to hurry up but he only nodded and buried his face in Katniss’s neck. Footsteps and familiar voices told him that Delly, Tim, the rest of the Hawthornes, Prim and Mrs. Everdeen had arrived but he couldn’t let go of Katniss just yet.

“You have no idea how much it took me to gather the guts to talk to you, let alone kiss you, damn it! A stupid war is not going to keep us apart,” he whispered. Katniss lifted her face and kissed his lips.

“Then come back, please, come back,” she said her fingers digging into his shoulders. Her grey eyes were full of tears but held so much emotion that Peeta kissed her again, trying to memorize her scent, her strong arms around his neck, her heavy breathing. And then the hasty goodbyes. Prim’s words for him to take care ,Hazelle’s words for him to be careful, Delly’s tears for him to come back. Another kiss from Katniss.

And then a gun was on hip and he was on walking next to Gale to the hovercrafts. He realized that he didn’t even noticed Gale saying goodbye to his loved ones.

“You okay?” Gale’s voice took him out of his dazed state. The sound of the hovercraft made almost impossible to hear so when he felt Gale’s body leaning into his ear he jumped a bit.

“Yeah,” he said. He was bouncing his leg nervously, looking at his surroundings. Purnia, the former District 12 peacekeeper nodded at him.

On the bench in front of him, there was a long line of soldiers like the Leeg twins among other young soldiers, their faces set in concentration and willingness to fight, but Peeta felt far away from their cause. He knew that a new opportunity was rising on Panem but he hated violence. He was a baker, a painter, he liked to do things with his hands, he didn’t want to shoot a gun.

“Listen soldiers, we have to help the resistance in the Square. Finnick was shot and even if he is now under our care, peacekeepers are trying to undermine us so we have to step into action the minute they set foot in District 2,” Boggs said through their earpiece. Peeta saw how everyone nod.

“You’re here for a reason, let’s help Finnick and Panem.” Boggs final words echoed on Peeta’s brain but he barely had time to process that the hovercraft had stopped and the door was opening.

“Take care Gale,” he shouted in an attempt to try to connect to the moment. He asked himself for a hundredth time, what was going on?

“You too Peeta,” Gale said and then Boggs ordered to leave the hovercraft.

When his feet touched the ground he could see the chaos. He followed Boggs’ instructions. He ducked, he jumped, he shot, but then he saw a group of running children being followed by three peacekeepers pointing at them and panic settled on his stomach. He followed them to the inside of the big white building, his legs feeling like lead, like they were trying to slow him down. Did his body know something he didn’t? Was the adrenaline that was telling  him to run the other way  warning him to escape the torture his days would become?

All he knew in that moment was that when he entered the hall of the building a gun hit him on the back of his neck, which hurt too much and then his jaw was the first part of his body to hit the floor. The last thing he saw before darkness descended on him was the body of a little girl over a pool of her own blood getting bigger and bigger.

 

***

 

Frozen water was an effective way to be awoken. And a kick to the ribs with a side of yelling worked well too. Peeta found out in the worst possible way.

He tried to open his eyes but he was blindfolded with his hands tied painfully tight behind his back. He could hear other soldiers next to him being shoved and smacked too but the darkness was total and he couldn’t focus; his head was spinning too much. He didn’t even want to think about his ribs or his leg. They kept walking until cold air hit him and made him shiver from the soaked t-shirt against his skin.

They put him against a wall and finally took the blindfolds from their eyes. Peeta recognized Purnia and other District 13 soldiers like one of the Leeg twins , Mitchell and Jackson and he squinted wondering how much time had passed since they had been captured because he couldn’t remember snow in District 2.

“You’re done playing soldiers. Now you will tell me.” The peacekeepers lifted their guns “what are the rebel’s plans.” the quick sound of the guns being charged followed his voice.

Peeta closed his eyes, shaking like a leaf but a slap on his face made him open his eyes.

“You will look us in the eye when we kill you, but first you will tell me the plan you have,” a peacekeeper yelled at him.

“We don’t know,” Peeta said and the peacekeeper punched him on the stomach. Peeta doubled in pain but a knee on his jaw made him stand straight.

“Fine.” The peacekeeper sneered and Peeta had no option but to look at the guns.

“Ready.”  They had no escape.

“Aim!” Was this his last moment? He thought of Katniss and her words “please come back”. It was not in his hands this time.

“Fire!!”

His breath caught in his throat and bile raised. He fell on his knees but he didn’t hear the shotgun. Several of his fellow soldiers were on their knees too, crying, begging, pleading because they didn’t know what the “plan” was.

“They only took us to District 2 for back up the rebels, that’s all we know.”

Peeta looked at his right and he found Purnia on her knees, crying. She had a bloody gash across her cheek and her tears mixed with the blood that fell on the snow.

“The betraying ginger knows something,” the head peacekeeper shouted and then they were dragged again inside.

Day after day they were taken under interrogation and the tortures were endless. False executions, a sick game of put just a bullet in an old gun and they would pull the trigger until someone had the bad luck. Or the good luck, because certainly the meaning of life was lost to Peeta.

They awoke them every hour so in addition to the physical pain there was the tiredness. They all pleaded several times they didn’t know what the plan was but Peeta doubted that the Capitol wanted something from them. They were torturing them for the pleasure of it. They were good at that after all.

He tried to think about Katniss. He had managed to kiss her, to taste her, to feel her skin and everything about her had exceeded his wildest expectations. Sometimes at night he daydreamed about how their lives would have been if the bombs hadn’t destroyed his district but it was painful.

“Is he dead?” a soft voice he couldn’t recognize asked. There was a grunt and someone shook him. He whimpered in pain.

“He’s alive.” the second was hard and low. He opened his eyes and saw two small figures watching him with precaution. The Victors Annie Cresta and Johanna Mason were looking at him. They looked pale and thin and Johanna’s head barely had hair. Annie looked lost with her big green eyes and her hair matted in a braid.

“Why am I here?” he rasped, his throat raw with desperation and thirst. His body was stiff, sore and every time he breathed his lungs protested.

“We don’t know but we think there’s no more place in the cells for the rebels,” Johanna explained. Peeta nodded weakly and tried to sit but the effort made him dizzy so he stayed on his side shivering.

“Who’s Katniss?” Annie asked in a shy whisper. Peeta looked at her and wondered how she knew of Katniss.

“You screamed her name several times,” Johanna said guessing his question.

“She’s from District 12,” he answered. Then he realized they never put a label on their relationship.

“Is she your wife?” Annie asked and Peeta smiled sadly.

“I wish. The war kind of ruined my plans but marriage wasn’t in the talks yet, we were getting to know  each other but I’m in love with her. I think I’ve been in love with her since I was five years old,” he said slowly and this time Annie smiled sadly.

“Maybe you can ask her to marry you when this is over,” Annie said and Johanna huffed. “I don’t care what you say Jo, I’ll see Finnick again.”

“If that’s how you wanna get through this, fine by me,” Johanna snapped and Annie shrugged looking close to tears. Johanna sighed and shook her head. “Sorry Ann,” Annie nodded weakly and Johanna sat next to her to hug her.

“Hey Annie, if you see Finnick you’ll be in District 13, so maybe you could ask about Katniss?” Peeta said, his throat closing with tears. “Would you tell her please that I miss her?” a few angry and stubborn tears fall from his eyes but he told Annie the message to Katniss. Outside there was so much noise, it was like a bad executed symphony of gunshots and cries of pain so Peeta focused on his voice until the sound of boots made him stop.

He was dragged to another cell and this time he could only hear Annie’s sobs and Johanna’s screams but he wasn’t sure what was real. A minute was endless, an hour a torture, his body felt foreign and things looked shiny and out of proportion. He was scared. He wanted to die. Closing his eyes only brought nightmares, but opening his eyes and seeing the peacekeeper putting prods on his body was worse. He really tried to think about nice things and in a last effort Katniss’ words came to his foggy brain “I hate that someone is always making the calls for us, first the Capitol...”

“We don’t know anything, please, we are pawns of both sides. We just want this to end. I can’t take it anymore, stop this please,” he cried, still shaking from the aftermaths of the electric shocks. A peacekeeper was about to push the prod into him again when a cold voice spoke.

“Take him in.”

He faint but he didn’t know if it was from relief or fear of what was ahead.

“Peeta, Peeta wake up.”

A warm hand was shaking him carefully for him to wake up. The voice was soft and gentle, so he opened his eyes. A woman with eyes like honey and dark brown skin was near his face, looking at him with worry.

“Where am I?” he asked groggily, feeling stabs of pain ran through his body.

“You’re in the Capitol, I’m going to prep you to be on camera. I’m Portia,” she said finally with a tense smile. Peeta frowned and looked at his surroundings. He was still on a cell but it didn’t look like the  cement dungeons with chains in which he had previously been. Next to the small door there was a peacekeeper looking at them.

Portia  prepared a warm shower for him that felt heavenly. Then she shaved his blonde stubble and applied makeup on his bounds and bruises and trimmed his hair a bit.

A white button up shirt and navy blue pants and boots were waiting for him.

“Why do they want to put me on camera?” he asked in a whisper and Portia tensed.

“They will present you like a repentant rebel, saying that you are all pawns and that you want for a ceasefire from your former band,” Portis explained nervously. Peeta looked at the peacekeeper but he stood motionless except that he had his hand over his gun.

Peeta swallowed heavily and nodded.

“But someone will explain it to you better,” she added and Peeta nodded again dumbly.

“You are District 12 stylist,” he said, trying to take his mind out of the minutes he had ahead. Portia nodded and smiled sadly “Thanks for helping them,” he added and Portia’s eyes filled with tears “Madge was my friend and I know you helped her. She was...” a knot settled in his throat and he had to stop.

He just wanted this madness to stop.

There was a knock on the door and they stood up. The peacekeeper opened it and motioned him to follow him. Peeta and Portia stood up and she hugged him, her mouth close to his ear.

A new wave of dizziness hit him when he heard Portia’s soft voice whispering hurried words close to his ear but he couldn’t even ask her anything. His hands were tied behind his back and in no time he was walking along corridors that looked endless. He couldn’t even look over his shoulder to say goodbye to Portia. A man wearing a  red suit and a green tie walked next to him, explaining what he was supposed to say but Portia’s words were getting louder and louder on his head.

“Understood Mr Mellark?” the man asked and Peeta noticed for the first time how grotesque the man’s face was. Puffy lips and cheekbones so high that a  dark and twisty smile was fixed on his face.

“Yes,” he lied and suddenly Caesar Flickerman was saying his name. A slight shove and the lights blinded him. They were in a TV studio where the interviews for the Tributes were held but only this time the essential technicians were present behind two big cameras and a few reflectors.

He sat on leather chair next to Caesar that was welcoming Panem to this live and exclusive interview.....

“So Peeta Mellark, former rebel...” Peeta looked at the old presenter with his green hair and his suit matching. Katniss’ favorite color was green. Would he ever see her again? He looked at his knees and focused on Caesar  that was asking something.

“Sorry?” he asked and Caesar smiled politely

“I understand the pressure. I was asking what were you telling the President earlier?” he explained and Peeta realized how important his words could be. He was sure the entire nation was watching him.

“I was... I was telling him that we need to stop fighting between us, we need a ceasefire,” he said with a steady voice and Caesar nodded, giving numbers of deaths at hands of the rebels.

“You mentioned that you feel like you were pawns,” Caesar said after some gruesome pictures of riots in the districts and Peeta sighed and nodded.

“Yes,” he said. He closed his eyes and formed Katniss’ smiling face on his mind “but the Capitol sends the District’s children to the Games to die, so we need to stay strong against the Capitol, ” he said quickly and when a technician made a gesture to cut the transmission he looked at the red dot the camera had and yelled.

“The districts will be bombed tonight!”

Did he do it? Could he warn the Districts? The need to hug Katniss and make sure she was safe was overwhelming.

***

A kick on the ribs, a shock of electricity, constant pain and the worst kind of nightmares that he couldn’t recognized which were real and which were a product of his mind. He didn’t know if he was awake or asleep. He couldn’t remember why he had needles on his arms.

Sometimes Katniss appeared in his dreams, but she was on fire. Sometimes she kissed him sweetly with a smile full of love. Sometimes his father appeared smiling at him with kind eyes. Sometimes his mother looked at him with the disapproving look he knew so much.

He didn’t know how to wake up, he opened his eyes but darkness was the only thing he could see. He could feel needles on his arms and his wrist trapped against the chair. He fainted when they took the needle of his arm. They carried him to his cell and stayed on fetal position until someone shook him. He opened his eyes and hoped to see Johanna and Annie again but instead a peacekeeper was looking at him. Peeta felt the weight of his life and decided that he didn’t want to carry it anymore.

With last strength he had he rose and snatched the gun from the peacekeeper’s hand and pointed to his own temple.

“Stop!” the peacekeeper said lifting his hands to stopped him so Peeta put the gun on his hand and pressed it to his temple again, tears rolling down his face

“Then do it yourself because I wish nothing more than die!” he yelled and the peacekeeper put his hand over his mouth and lifted his helmet.

He looked familiar, with olive skin and grey eyes. 

“Shut up Peeta, we’re getting you out of here,” he whispered and from his bag he took a peacekeeper uniform “C’mon, we don’t have much time,”

“Where’s Katniss?” he asked and Gale pursed his lips.

“I made her stay, she’s in District 13, she’s okay,” Gale said.

Peeta nodded numbly and stood up but his body screamed at him in pain. Gale looked at him and helped him with the peacekeeper uniform he took from a bag. They left the cell slowly and joined other peacekeepers that were running toward the exit of the building. It was chaos. A peacekeeper approached them but Gale didn’t let him talk.

“We checked on Mellark, good as dead” he said but the peacekeeper shook his head.

“Forget about him! There was a break in. The rebels...” his words died in his mouth when Gale shoot him, leaving Peeta in shock.

“There’s an attack on the President's Mansion,” a voice yelled.They ran toward the sound of the boots. Peeta tried to keep up with the rest of the group but he felt so weak and tired that the idea of breaking from the formation was the most appealing one. The thought of Katniss in District 13 made him move.

They reached the President’s Mansion and the minute he stepped into the circle, Peeta knew that something was terribly wrong. Several children were lying on the ground, crying with pain. Peeta could see the blood stains and the raw skin that contrasted heavily with the snowed on floor.

He was shoved aside and fell on his knees when a group of people with white coats ran toward the children. He recognized a blond braid falling from a petite frame, her big clothes forming a duck tale. Snow was falling even harder when he heard the hovercraft and the compartment bombs opening.

“Prim!” he yelled but it was not his voice but Katniss’ voice. She was supposed to be in District 13! He ran toward Katniss but she was already too far away, yelling at Prim, chasing her but it was too late. The bombs fell in forms of parachutes, setting on fire the children and the doctors that included Prim and Katniss.

The expansive wave knock him down but there was nothing he could do because he was on fire too.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A million of thanks to Briony Bree for her great work as a beta, if there are mistakes are mine. A big hug to Gentlemama too because she's awesome.  
> The title from this chapter is from The Book Thief, chapter 5, page 83 I think.  
> And sorry for the delay.  
> Feel free to comment :)


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